HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

The girls seem to be having a great time celebrating Halloween together! I miss having them home.. No CANDY!! *grins* but seriously it is so cool that they have become such good friends.

Happy BIrthday Word Girl!!

I woke up this morning and realized that I have to change the name of my blog.. Word Girl turns 20 today.. Why does that mean I have to change my blog's name? Well the name is juggling teens... Hair Boy is 23, PITA Boy is 21 and Word Girl is 20.. only Blond Girl is a teen.. Calling the blog Juggling Teens is kind of like false advertising!

Anyway.. my beautiful wonderful girl turns 20 today. It is just so hard to believe that my sweet girl, my cuddler, my dearheart turns 20. No longer a precocious teen rather a complicated coed, who is coming into her own. Finding herself and discovering who and what she wants to be. I am so proud of her! She has always been a beacon for what is right in my life.. even when I failed to tell her this..

Blond Girl, went down to Western to share this day with her so I am hoping my girls are behaving themselves and still managing to have a wonderful time together..

Thought I would share a couple of pictures of my girl.. The first was taken in late winter early spring.. A beautiful girl, with wait..yeah.. HAIR.. the second was taken late spring/summer. AFTER she shaved her head for St Baldric's.. What is it about my kids? They go to college and have to shave their heads. I will admit I was much less upset when Hair Boyd did it..Don't tell I said so but it does highlight her magnificent cheek bones and eyes.. AND she looks my better bald than Hair Boy...

I love you Word Girl...

When You Impress Your Children

I was speaking with Hair Boy today.. just a general Hi how's it going conversation and we started discussing my new blog... Bodice Rippers.. He went and looked it up. I was almost brought to tears when he told me how excellent it was.

My children's opinion means something to me.. Yes I am mom and there are times when I have to be the meanie, to make the decision, to be the bad guy. But to hear from your child that he is proud of what you are accomplishing? That is just so awesome!

What a moment! Poor Blond Girl has had to suffer through all the growing pains of the new site so she just rolls her eyes when I show her something. That and the fact she is 17 and it is a romance book site.. yeah, mom talking about all those sex things and having pictures of smexy men on her website.. um, embarrassing... But Hair Boy is gonna show it to his Girlfriend.. who doesn't read that sort of stuff but is into all things feminist and she will really like this site! So, I have more free advertising, maybe even get the college market.

I know all of you parents know exactly of what I speak.. to hear your child say that is awesome mom!! I am proud of you!! Wow what amazing words.. oh yeah, he also pointed out that I was a good mom while he was growing up.. I almost had him repeat it into a recording.. just for posterity.. but nah, that he said it meant the world.

I am blessed!

Blond Girl's Diagnosis

Good Morning!! I have not forgotten you my friends... just have had a really hard time getting back into the swing of things since Blond Girls's incident. She has an official diagnoses of Syncopy.. which means she has a fainting disorder and there are some drawbacks. Most notably, she can never swim in an unsupervized manner again. Just think, no going into the ocean for a fun day of swimming, now diving in the lake with friends (unless one of them has the ability to care for her) and even a hotel pool... where there is no lifeguard on duty.. I can not imagine not being able to go in the water this way. We are a water based family.. It has been a central part of our entire life!! With that being said.. she is alive and well with a healthy heart and joyous spirit. All the thanks and praise to God for this!!

Blond Girl Sings!!

Today was the first of three choir performances for the school year where they allow a Senior Solo. There are only seven solos for the entire year and 12 or 13 kids auditioned. Blond Girl was one who got a solo and hers was today!! 

I was quite nervous because she was singing the song awfully high and no way was she ever gonna hit those notes!! I tried to be encouraging but I will admit I was really really nervous!! Hope you all enjoy the song!! Sorry about the shaky video, I wasn't too stable as the photographer!!  I would suggest that you listen and not watch!!

 

The Power of the Written Word

Blond Girl and I were talking the other day and she had me cracking up. She was having a conversation with her math teacher and I imagine it went something like this. 

Math Teacher: "I am not only a Math Teacher I am a Mathematician."
  
Blond Girl looked at her and said: "Mathematician?"

Math Teacher:  "yes, I am also a mathematician, you know a person whose primary area of study is the field of mathematics. Mathematicians are concerned with quantity, structure, space, and change."

Blond Girl: "Oh, I know the definition, I just thought the word was always Mathemagician."

Math Teacher: Mathemagician? Where did you get that term?"


Blond Girl smiles and holds up the book The Phantom Tollbooth and says "From here, see right here in the land of Digitopolis, they have a MATHEMAGICIAN!"

 Amazing isn't it? the power of the written word? She has told me it doesn't matter what the word really is, she is going to continue to call it a mathemagician. Considering the fact that she gives that book credit for making her question things... I guess I will let her call it a mathemagician. I figure any of my grand kids will have to read the book and will think the same thing anyway.

Flowers

This morning about an hour ago, I got a phone call from downstairs.. Asking if Blond Girl was home. Since it is a Thursday you would think that she would be in school.. of course she wasn't school is out, again! Anyway, the phone call came.. when I said yes.. I was told that she had a package. Now we get packages all the time and  we never get told that just one person got one. It's more like, hey you gota package send someone down. So the phone call was a bit odd.


I woke Blond Girl up and sent her on down... she came back with a box from 1-800-flowers and was all excited.. I won't go into the comedy of watching her open the box and cut the zip tie *insert rolled eyes here* but I will say she was beaming. The flowers, a gorgeous rose arrangement, were from her youth pastors.. wanting to let her know that they were thinking about her and hoped she was getting better.

I will admit, I was a bit irked that she hadn't heard from the church after or during her hospitalization. But I had reconciled to the fact that I had been spoiled as  a child and not all large churches took care of the details.. Glad to know I was wrong. Especially since this was the only thing I have found irksome about our church up to this point...

I mean I would understand if they ignored me... but my baby? But they didn't and she feels even more special.. now if we can just figure out what is wrong with her!

Getting Ready for her Senior Solo

So Blond Girl doesn't know it yet but I actually heard her practicing for her Senior Solo! She sounded beautiful, I seriously wish I had her range. What I don't understand though is why she is singing it so high. She has a beautiful Alto voice and she is singing Then Sings My Soul.. why isn't someone at her school working with her so she can sing it in her key?

Then Sings my Soul is a wonderful Torch Singer Song.. you know the ones belted out by altos? Such as Ethel Merman, Lena Horne and others? This is not the first time she has sung a song in too high of a key. She sang Martina McBride's Concrete Angel and tanked it because it was too high.. Hello, Martina has a wonderful alto voice and sings it perfectly. Isn't anyone paying attention? Do they not understand that some people have low voices?

I miss my choir directors.. Both James Armstrong from Granada Jr High AND Richard Crain from First Family Church. They both understood the power of a good alto!

Turn Back Tuesdays

Word Girl 2008. Ok not that long ago but I LOVE this pic!

Pretty as a Picture Monday

Just a couple of pictures of Blond Girl from her stay in ICU.. on the left.. Makeover day.. yep they came in and gave her a makeover.. and on the Right.. Yep! You guessed it Dog Therapy!

A Trip to the Symphony

Remember when we worried about out children running wild at night? We worried that they would be out partying late, drinking, whatever?

Well kids today have come a long way... This weekend Blond Girl and a group of her friends went on a wild trip to the city.. Taking the train downtown for a trip to the Symphony. She was in awe!!

Of course there were some kids who went along to be cool, yes hard as that is to believe some of the kids felt the need to go just so they would fit in. That cracked me up.. this is what kids are doing to feel cool? My daughter and her close friends asked only that the group of kids who sat behind them be silent.. of course they got offended accused my daughter of being mean and having a superior attitude.. and of course talked through the entire performance. And of course they did not see the irony of this.

It was sad that some people have such a need to belong that they ruin the true enjoyment of those who do something because they truly enjoy it. Blond Girl said it was one of the most amazing experiences of her life. While she was explaining it her eyes shown, she practically glowed just while describing the cellos.. I am so happy that she found a connection at this event. I think so many children do not get the opportunity to experience opportunities like this and then mock it as adults. Never knowing the true beauty of what they are missing.

I can not wait until she escapes the confines of HS and is able to find her niche in college like her sister has. Where she can attend an event like the symphony and not have to deal with the drama of teenage posturing. These kids who have such a love of music that they give up their Saturday night just to view the symphony deserve those moments of peace that comes when one hears beauty.

Next, the Opera

Saturdays...

With only two at home you would think that Saturdays would slow down. Especially with one allegedly ill... Nope..

PITA Boy is off to work! What I respect about PITA Boy is the fact that he works.. and works and works. An employer that hires him is just plain lucky. This morning he is working for four hours at the local park district where he runs the soccer league (park district not league play) but there he is running the games.. and having a blast. Then he is home for a couple hours and off to the other job.. yep both jobs today.. This happens quite regularly he probably works about 40 to 50 hours a week between the two jobs. They all love him.. I just hope he starts socializing a bit more..

Now, Blond Girl.. you know the one who got out of ICU on Thursday night? Yeah her.. she is off to a swim meet.. no she can't swim but she is still part of the team and needs to support it. After the meet is team bonding then home to shower and change. Before off with friends to the see the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.. She is excited because a group of them are taking the train downtown to see the performance with no adult supervision. They are 17 afterall.. some just a month or two away from 18. Yeah it's scary to let go but as a good parent I have to..

It is rather nice to know that my kid is rushing off to the city to see the symphony not hit the bars.. I am truly blessed with my kids.. both the ones at home and the two off living their lives..

The Resilancy of Youth

As we were pulling out of the hospital parking lot last night, I found myself in a rather odd situation. Phone in hand and making a call to Blond Girl's Band Director asking him if she could come to practice. After the words left my mouth, I could hear nothing but silence. He had to be thinking are you freaking kidding me? 

This poor girl had been in Pediatric ICU for two and a half days and she wanted to go to Marching Band Practice? Yeah sounds pretty goofy to me too. The thing is she felt fine.. she felt fine within an hour of her incident... so why curtail her? Yes, the doctors are curtailing her.. The doctors have limited her exercise and while she can PLAY she can not march. But she needed to go. Tonight is Senior Night and as she put it, she is not going to have gone through 4 years of marching band.. not to mention the 6 years before that where she had to go support her siblings.. and NOT get her Senior Night!

Wednesday is Senior Night for swim team.. she can't swim either but she is going to enjoy those moments as well.. She earned them afterall.

A Parent's Nightmare

Last Tuesday while Blond Girl was at a swim meet, she laid down to rest, fell asleep and stopped breathing. When her friends attempted to wake her up she was unresponsive and CPR was administered. Fortunately, she came to and was rushed to the emergency room.

Once there all tests were negative she was "fine" and "nothing" was wrong. The Doctors realizing that this was just wrong.. sent her to a children's pediatric ICU at another hospital for observation. Two days later and we are still not sure what is causing the problem but we are pretty secure in knowing that her heart is fine. WHEW.

Let me tell you, I had plenty of falling apart moments in the quiet of the night while she was sleeping. Fortunately, each morning she would wake and smile... everything was fine.

I do have to giggles just a bit though, this ICU unit has what I call a cruise director who comes in to make sure the kids have everything they need to make their stays as good as possible, computer...check...movies...check...glamor day, complete with hair styling, nails and makeup...check..and now today.. she had dog therapy!!

I am glad that there is plenty to keep her smiling.

Turn Back Tuesday

Since I am feeling a bit nostalgic I decided to turn things back about 10 years.. wow.. 10 years a mere decade.. How things have changed.. 10 years ago Hair Boy had just entered high school. He was a tall, thin boy with short (yes that's right) short hair. He had just spent the summer with it smurf blue and he had cut the remains out before school had begun. I really liked that particular picture of him, although he says he always hated it. He was just learning about marching band and at the time there were 6 that is right 6 tubists. He had so much to learn.. All his spare time had been spent in the sound room at the play or on the Marching Band field. Swim Team hadn't started yet and he was just a squirly freshman.

That would put PITA boy in the 7th grade. Middle School was not good to PITA Boy, he stuttered, was a bit immature and had a learning disorder. All combined with a strong desire to be like his brother.. popular and self confident (except he never understood what a crock that was). PITA Boy was often bullied and even in a school with a no bullying policy, not much was done about it. Oh he had his supporters but there was a large contingency of teachers that would have been just as happy as to shove him back in some corner and ignore him. Blame everything on him. They tried... good thing they failed.. PITA Boy wouldn't let them..

Word Girl was in 5th grade.. not even remotely sure of who she was. Stuck in the midst of mean girl hell. She was so rock solid when it came to right and wrong for other people, she would defend against injustice no matter who she had to fight.. and yet she allowed so many to get away with so much when it came to herself. She was a few years away from realizing that she mattered. That she had a voice.. she  never really realized just what a leader she was. I think now, finally in college she is beginning to discover who she has always been.

Blond Girl, wow she was just a cute little 3rd grader. With a ready smile and a seemingly empty mind. Yeah that's right she had the dumb blond thing down pat.. except.. she wasn't she was just soaking up her environment.. soaking up all that was around her.. learning everything.. waiting for her moment in the sun. Waiting to step out from the strong shadows her siblings threw... She was still poised.. hadn't made her leap yet.. but she was ready.

Four Kids and No One's Doin Nuthin?

I sat down to write today and realized that I was drawing a complete blank. How can that possibly be? I mean I have FOUR, count em, Hair Boy (1), PITA Boy (2), Word Girl (3) and Blond Girl (4), yep that is FOUR.. One of them has to be doing something..

To be fair, Word Girl is off leading an exciting life at college.. So who knows what trouble she has gotten herself into. I have already received the phone calls.. Mom I got my lip pierced and even better.. Mom, I shaved my head (not as bad as it sounds as this was for charity) and of course the lovely FB pic of her SECOND tattoo.. Fortunately, she only plans on wearing the lip ring until she graduates and her hair is already growing back, to the point where it needs to be shaped and styled. And even the tats are discreet.. I still say she has had her quota of wild moments.. no more phone calls from her..

And Hair boy.. well he is working hard to pay off some student loans.. so he can get more student loans.. so he can go back to school.. I guess I should be grateful he is too busy to call. Although, he does manage to talk to his grandma at least once a week. I had to lay down the law!! He has to tell me any exciting news BEFORE he tells grandma.. Hey being mom has to have some percs..

All PITA Boy does is work, well work and drive me nuts.. life is good...

Blond girls is just dealing with being a teenage girl.. oh the joys of teenage girl hormone trauma...

So while they are all about not sharing what is going on in their lives.. I am grateful.. They are having great lives!!

PITA Boy not so PITA anymore

I find it amazing that PITA Boy is 21 years old. It seems like just yesterday he was that pesky little.. oh yeah it was. I know that was awful, PITA Boy yanks my chain as much as he does because he really does have so very many of my flaws.. Sometimes it's like banging my head against a mirror and others well...

All that being said he is growing into such an amazing man. He is what I refer to as my  worker bee.. Give that boy a job and he will see it through to the bitter end and then some. He is the kind of employee that employers should be salivating to get. He is considering the military and he would most definitely thrive there.. Although he is more than a little intimidated by the ASVAB.. as his ADHD seriously interferes with his ability to test.

After spending 6 summers as a Lifeguard I know it isn't the actual knowledge but rather the reading that gets him. He would never have passed the original Lifeguard test had not the woman in charge.. taken charge. She knew PITA Boy and she knew he knew his stuff.. so she did a verbal test.. of course he passed with flying colors. I am not saying he doesn't read.. just he doesn't read well on tests..

I have to think that the military is loosing a huge group of young men and women who would be amazing soldiers/sailors/marines/airmen.. by not realizing this. Not everyone tests well.. OK.. my mini rant is over..

Hopefully by this time next year PITA Boy will be off on his new career.. when that happens I will change his name.. to maybe soldier boy... *grins*. No matter what this child does me proud.. 

Absolutely Amazing!!

As a senior there are many perks, benefits and last things that occur in High School, I am sure you all remember. For Blond Girl one of the "perks" is the Senior Solo. This is an audition only, event where a certain amount of Seniors are chosen to sing at one of the three concerts through out the year. Usually around 6 are chosen. This year there were 7 of 11.

Last week was the audition and Blond Girl came home rather despondent, she had completely tanked her audition. To the extent that one of her best friends.. when asked was brutally honest and said she sucked.. ok, yeah a little tactless maybe but my daughter pretty much agreed with her. So we had pretty much accepted that she was not going to get a solo.

Yesterday, Blond Girl came bouncing through the door.. an almost musical lilt to her voice.. Guess what! She got a solo!! The list went up on Thursday and she was so sure she hadn't made it, she  didn't even bother looking.. On Friday, she just glanced at it and saw her name!! YAY!

Of course she is singing at the first concert and has only 2 weeks to prepare.. A bit nerve wracking but she will at least get it over with. Anyway on October 23, 2011 somewhere between 3 and 4pm  she will be singing How Great Thou Art... to all and Sundry..  Needless to say I am a worried, nervous, excited and proud Mama...

Word Girl on a Quest for Australia

Word Girl has wanted to go to Australia since she was in the 6th grade. Ok, maybe before that but in the 6th grade she was nominated by someone to be an athletic ambassador for people to people. Since she was a swimmer Australia was the best program and oh how she wanted to go.. I tried, I really tried but I just couldn't fund it. So every year when she got her letter I would watch her eyes light up, then slowly dim as she realized it just wasn't gonna happen. She never blamed me and she really did understand that it was a privilege not an promise. It didn't help that every child I knew that went on this program improved their times immensely, changed their perspective about swimming and how they trained.

Now, she has that opportunity again.. Not as a people to people rep.. but as a student. Finally, she is seeing the fruition of her dream. She is oh so very close to studying abroad in Australia... I am so excited for her. Yes, we still need funds and I know it will take time and effort on her part to come up with them. Her student grants and loans will apply so that is cool but she will need airfare and information funds.. They have programs where she goes to see the country on the weekends when not studying.. and seriously? why go all the way to Australia if you are just going to study and never see what is around you?

She will do it!! I know she will... and I am so proud of her because she just pushes on... dreaming big!! but better yet.. working to fulfill the dream!

Hair Boy Sings the Blues

Last Summer was an exciting one for Hair Boy.. He has always been extremely talented and played an abundance of musical instruments but somewhere along the way he stopped. Well stopped all his orchestrational instruments. It made me sad because he was a rather gifted tubist. Over the past couple of years he had started teaching himself the guitar.. Musician that he is, he of course mastered it.. Well at least I think so but I am sure he has far to go before he become a "great" guitarist but hey I'm his mom.. I get to be biased. 

  

He gave me a call one day last summer and said, hey mom.. my band is gonna be doing a show in Chicago (didn't know he was in a band) and do you want to come? Now there was a DUH question if ever I heard one. It was all very exciting being the mother of a member of the band! I had a great time and of course took many pictures.. For some reason he seems to think there were actually other members in the band.. I don't know where he got that idea, as they aren't in any of my pictures.. 

   Along with the band, he released a solo CD, I know wow!! and was a guest on a radio station. Now that was great fun since it was also broadcast on over the net and I was able to listen to it. As long as any friends or family that I could catch up with. 

  I hope he continues in this vein, he is so very talented.. and face it.. he already has the hair!!

Oddly Quiet

It has begun.. those hours of silence.. when all the children are gone, the nest is empty... Oh not yet.. baby bird is still here but her wings are spreading and she is well on her way..

Fall is the fun time, the time of the year when seniors set their dreams.. where they focus on tomorrow and they think they can have and do anything.. In so many ways in this moment in time they are immortal..

Blond Girl is beginning her quest, she has applied at Univ of WY, Marquette, Univ of MT, and my dream school USC.. she still needs to send out aps to Carthage, Univ of Sand Diego, San Diego State and Western Illinois.. Part of me wants to sneak in one to Tulane as well. My girl would love to live in New Orleans.. 

It is exciting to watch and see.. to wonder what she will get, who will accept her and where she is headed. Yesterday we got yet another brochure from Univ of CO.. and now she is thinking of applying there as well..

I am thinking.. MT, WY or CO will get her if they want her.. why? Cuz she wants to major in Astronomy, which all three have excellent programs for, and her second major is COWBOYS! and face it there aren't too many Cowboys in San Diego

We shall see where the wind blows

Teenage Angst

I seriously hate teenage drama.. Remember? There is nothing worse and I mean NOTHING worse than being a teenage girl. There is just too much angst..

Oh don't get me wrong, the boys had their issues but they were dealt with.. I never had to see them.. but the girls.. yeah totally different story.

Word Girl had a couple of years of stab you in the back fun filled friends.. Well basically one, she would build up a group of friends and this little girl would come along, weasel her way in and then suddenly word girl was odd man out.. it was devastating.. She handled it eventually, me not so much. I freely admit that I will never allow this girl in my sphere again.. Not in my car, Not in my home, preferably not in my site. After the second cataclysmic melt down that she caused.. I put my foot down. Of course Word Girl got past it and "forgave" her. Yeah... like that is gonna happen.. she hurt my baby.

For Blond Girl, it's different.. I seriously never saw it coming.. even when she had a huge disagreement with her best friend.. I chalked it down to growing pains.. I mean seriously, we grow apart, especially in High School. Sadly it has.. her heart is breaking.. and I wanna just scream... It's worse this time, I became friends with the parents.. Now me, I am all for sweeping the battles of my children under the rug and not bringing it into my grown up relationships... but I don't know if others feel the same. And would I have felt that way if I were friends with Word Girls, Nemisis' mother? I doubt it.. Of course I may have been able to see it from her perspective... nah, my baby got seriously hurt..

So my dilema... How do I go on? I am thinking of sticking to the "I don't get involved with my children's battles" Standby and hope that works.. I really don't want to quibble about things that in the end really won't change the world.. Blond Girl has to tread this treacherous path all on her own. She will do fine, I am sure she will loose some friends and gain new ones.. Really, it's only a few short months until graduation.. and most of these friends will be nothing more than a "friend" on facebook...

A New Day

I can not believe it has been almost two years since I seriously blogged. I feel like I have missed so much in my blogging life.. It is pretty darn amazing what has passed.

Just to get you up to date...

Hair Boy has moved out, moved to the college town of Champagne/Urbana.. meandering through his college life. Trying to figure out what he wants to do. Of course because he putzed around a little too much he now is working two jobs to pay off his old student loans so he can get new assistance and continue. He needed this time to figure out what he wanted and where he was headed. I think he has finally found a compass point. He has been playing his guitar, writing music he recorded a CD, has been in several "gigs" both with the band he is in and alone.. AND he has had a rather fantastic on air experience with the local radio station. It was fun because I was able to listen to it on the radio.. While he sounded giddy.. he did good and had fun. And fortunately was knowledgeable about if not the local indy scene at least music in general... Finally!! A good use for all that time he and his father spent rocking to Clapton when Hair Boy was a baby... As for his hair.. yep it's still there.. right now it's in dreads.. sheesh...

PITA Boy... I am thinking this one is gonna need a new name soon.. Finally at 21 he is outgrowing that need to drive me insane. He is still trying to figure out what he is gonna do with his life.. He is working full time and eying either school or the military. Me, I am leaning towards the military!! I think out of all my kids he would excel in such an environment. We just have to get past those pesky ASVAB's.. which suck.. as a kid with ADHD and a learning disorder passing those tests are hard.. It's not that he doesn't get it, it's that once they put it in test format he tanks.. We need to get him passed those tests because this kid would be such an asset to anything he does..

Work Girl... what can I say? She is enjoying her second year of college and has come into her own. No more trying to deal with the day to day hierarchy of life in the small community we live in. No more having to be known as my daughter, her brother's sister, her grandparent's child.. no longer a living legacy of a family that no longer exists.. Nope... she has become herself and what a joy it is to watch.. She is a leader at school.. having been elected to the inner hall residence board.. As VP she gets her room for free YAY!! Of course she still has tuition, board, books and the rest but... every little bit helps.. and 6,000 this year in free room is nothing to sneeze at. She is working towards a semester abroad next year so we are really excited.. She is gonna get to Australia if it kills her.. She has wanted to go since she was contacted by People to People to go as an athlete ambassador when she was 11. Cross your fingers she will be there next year.

Blond Girl... WOW!! She is a SENIOR... I am not quite sure how that has happened but she is blossoming into an amazing young woman. Of course, she is dealing with the day to day growing pains of being a teenage female.. as well as feeling the restrictions of day to day living in a community that has known you since before your oldest brother was born.. yeah.. it's hard for her.. I know she is looking forward to escaping... One of her dream schools is the Univ of Wyoming.. her ACT scores rock and her GPA is right on the cusp so we are keeping our fingers crossed. Of course Marquette and Univ of Montana are also up there.. She is looking to join her sister at Western if she goes to a state school.. and today just as a well why the heck not.. she applied at USC.. yeah.. no coaching there....

As you can see they are all on their way to becoming amazing individuals... I only have one problem.. This October 30, I will only have one teenager.. I may just have to rename the blog..