Wednesday, December 31, 2008

For Any Teen Who May Actually Read This

Tonight is a night for celebrating the new year.. as a culture we tend to party in excess and take risks that maybe on another night we don't. But I am asking each of you to please think of those around you that love you...

Before you take that drink, think...
Before you get in that car.. think
Before you trust the sobriety of another... think
Before you mock your parents for insisting that they drive...think

You are loved, cared for... and we want to see you tomorrow safe and sound..

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Wow!! an award

One of the very best things I have found with blogging is the sense of community that is out there. It is amazing how very many people there are who understand where I am coming from and then another entirely different set who appreciate my advice.. life sure is interesting..

but this past weekend I was honored with the Promenade award by Lola at lolasdiner once again I find myself amazed to be the recipient but completely grateful...

The award states "This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
I’m passing this award on to the 8 recipients listed below. Please feel free to pass it on and share the love.

Here my recipients (in no particular order)!

B Boys Mom @ Crazy Mom With 4 Boys
Tammy @
Mom Knows Everything just saying that makes me smile
Lisa @
Adventures in JujuBoo
Liz @
A Mom on a Spin
Diana @
Diana Rambles
On the Verge
Erin @
The Mom Buzz
Julie @
A Mom Two Ways
For Women over 40 and Loving it

each has their own distinctive flair, each has a promise, a witty word or a way of pulling you in and i find myself traveling back to each of these blogs on a regular basis. Please if you haven't tripped that way yet do so, they are wonderful.

and if you havent made it over to lola's page i suggest you do so..

Friday, December 26, 2008

What passes for Scintilizing Conversation

So it's the day after Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring (unless it's that louse)

Seriously, after a reasonably good Christmas was I a fool to think that they could get along? Today the conversation went something like this

hand me the paper?

the what?

the paper....

oh..... (nothing gets handed)

(in a louder voice) HAND ME THE PAPER (remember we are living in a one room hotel right now so how far away could it be?)

the what?


(in a near scream) HAND ME THE PAPER... oh NEVER MIND You are so fricken lazy... (gets up moves three inches gets the paper)

oh you wanted the paper?

yeah, I asked for the paper...

did not

did so

did not

did soo............ etc....

oh yeah.. have I mentioned they are 17 and 18???


Hope your holidays are as happy as mine...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Thank You God for the Wonderful Day

today was fun, quiet for one of our family Christmas's but as the children grow older and start to have their own lives. I have to wonder will this be the last when we are all together?
Each moment with them is a precious one (even the ones when I am considering alternative parenting closet locking). I know they are all so close to spreading their wings and moving on.

yes I often comment about how in 3 1/2 years I will start my life, or life begins at 50 or all sorts of comments like that but really.. I have been blessed with some pretty awesome kids and I will miss them when they go.

so yes, today was a good day... one more Christmas where all of my children were home, together, healthy, happy and not fighting (hey it happens once a year.. this year it was Christmas day)

other than a few embarrassing mishaps.. Christmas was good.. and how was yours?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merrry Christmas to All

Tonight when you drift off to sleep, thinking about all of the Christmas issues that still must be resolved, completed or just plain ignored... remember this.. this single Holiday represents the birth of hope..

Take a moment to look at your sleeping children (yes the teenagers too) and remember how very lucky you are. Are the fed? sheltered?clothed? healthy? any of the above is good if you have them all.... you have hit the lottery.. anything else is just plain amazing.

As I spend my day tomorrow not wanting to clobber them, I will remember to be grateful for having all of the above. It doesnt really matter where they live, how they dress or even what they eat.. thank You God.... the are all healthy.

Merry Christmas All

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

If it's not one thing it's another

Last night was a traumatic one, sad to say the laptop died... we will be having a funeral for it soon... feel free to send flowers, heck send a new laptop, I am not proud.. but seriously, until I am able to drag the monster out of storage and get a wireless card for it. I am going to be computer defecient for a while.

I will be able to post my blogs, but my entre card drops are going to go way down... I am still going to visit as many of you as I can but my time on the public computer is limited so I am not sure how many or how often I will be visiting.

So if I don't see you before hand... Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!!! and a Happy New Year.


Monday, December 22, 2008

Standing Together

What I consider my greatest accomplishment is the fact that my children stand together. Oh, they bicker and badger and oft times dream of how to destroy the other but in general when life gets hard, they stand as a unit.

When they were children, I used to jokingly say my children run as a pack. It was a joke but in many ways, true. Oh, they have their own friends and their own interests but when push comes to shove..

I do laugh at times when they find themselves in this situation, they sorta look at me like, how did this happen? It pretty much tickles me.

Being close in age (way to close I sometimes think) their friends overlap and many of their interests do as well. Because they are such unique individuals they stand alone very often, they will be off doing something interesting, then have to stop and rush to the defense of a sibling. Often confusing the individual they are defending them from.. Almost always they wonder why? They actually have to be told that my children are siblings.. Which is an entire other post...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

One Banana, Two Banana, Three Banana, Four

When I was a kid there was a saturday morning cartoon show called the Banana Split Show, not to even remotely be confused with Bananas in Pajamas.. This show was a mass of insanity, skits and cartoons. Really there was absolutely no educational value to it at all. It was just plain fun.. But these Bananas were insane..

Today I feel like a Banana..

Hey, Four teenagers.. (So he's 20 teenagers works better), one room, winter break... oh man.. forget locking them in the closet... I am going in.. please push water and food under the door.. and come and check on me after the 7th.

Friday, December 19, 2008

So It Is A Snow Day

Can you imagaine, the audacity.. it snowed last night.. the night before the last day of school... finals were in action.. projects were do.. and the school felt for safety reasons or something they should have a snow day. Are they not aware of the havoc they are wreaking in my schedule? Do they not know how much I need to have them gone?

I mean honestly.. what about me? It doesnt get any better when they are teenagers a bored child is a bored child and as teenagers it is way way worse. Cuz you can't lock them in the closet.. you can try but they are bigger than me so they escape before I can lock the door.

But seriously they are out acting like 10 year olds... in a good way this time, the snowballs are flying the laughter is escaping.. today.. yeah today they are fun to have around..

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

No Really Mom, I don't use the Tweezers

Over the years I must have spent thousands of dollars on tweezers. Now if I keep those tweezers hidden in a purse or some such place I have a chance of finding them the next time I may need a pair. If I leave them in the bathroom, in the drawer, medicine chest whatever or if I leave them on my dresser they disappear.

Of course then the ones hiding in my purse manage to disappear also. I have tried to fix this by purchasing cheap ones and keeping them in the bathroom and purchasing a good pair to keep in my purse.. but still they go a wandering. Now if my children had ever claimed to use the tweezers this would make sense. But according to them I am the only one who uses them. Hmmmmmm now how does that work?

This also applies to clippers, manicure items or any other small small grooming item. I suppose the elves not only come and clean at night (yeah right) but now they take small shiny bathroom grooming tools as payment.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Hallelujah Chorus and Following a Dream

So this afternoon I had the priveledge of sharing a moment with my youngest daughter. She is a member of the High School Swing Choir and truly enjoys the experience. This concert culminated a week of performances having had 7. I must admit it was a pleasant experience where several students shined, one in particular a Mr Steven Uhl I was astounded by the depth of his talent. The faculty was involved and the concert ended with a rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus. And this was where I failed, omg, I forgot to stand. I think I may have been one of the few people in the audience who knew that we were supposed to stand. But I remembered part way through and instead of taking action, I let my nerves win. Now as a mother, I usually attempt to not embarrass the kids needlessly, so normally this behavior would have been acceptable but I remember the power and majesty of singing that song, looking out over a sea of faces and watching them rise. A declaration of the sheer awesomeness of this song. So in a way I failed these kids.. oh well they don't know it and I will get over it.

Whenever I hear this song, I remember dreams I had, things I wanted to do and places I wanted to see. Now the dreams start over every day and I have never stopped dreaming but there is just something special about the dreams held when one is on the brink of adulthood. There is nothing that can not be accomplished. There is no power on this earth that they will not overcome. Some will succeed, some will fail but the ones who truly suffer are the ones who refuse to dream. I hope my children take those risks, believe in the great what if... and forever dream those dreams

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Trying to Offer Them What I Didn't Get

At the age of 2 it was pretty much decided that at the age of 18 I would be gone. Now don't get me wrong I was not and am not a troublemaker or even an instigator what I am is a emotional reactor, with more than a trace of creative bohemian thrown in. Having been raised by those who respect logic and organization needless to say I was a fish out of water. So at 2 it was decided.. at 18 I moved out. This was a mistake, I was mature but not quite ready to go. Of course I didn't know that I was 18 so of course I assumed that I was ready, that and the fact that I knew it was time to go..having been told that since I was 2.

When I had children I decided that I was going to be the parent they needed not expect them to be the children I needed. I am still trying to figure out if this was a good choice. I have spent 20 years being there from mom&me to college football games (to support the band of course).

When JR decided to flunk out of college, instead of saying too bad so sad I said get it together.. He took a year off and is back taking it way more seriously. Having had that year to grow up figure out that he doesn't want my life and that it is time to grow up. While we have been here living this year of fiasco and stress he has stepped up and helped out. Of course that means he gets to treat me as though I didn't spend the previous 19 years taking care of everything. Yes it was crazy and rather flaky but he was fed, grew up in the same town and has had life long friends. So personally I think it is time to just shut up and say hey thanks.

Cori was born just a bit different, more like me.. well more me than me.. wanting to create a sense of self esteem in him I spent a lifetime encouraging him to be different go ahead as long as basic rules are followed.. safety, social he would be fine. Now at 18 he thinks that he is the end all and I am worthless.. Yet he offers little but stress to my day to day living.

Yes I know both of these two individuals are males and I a mere female (yes even in today's society men are still ingrained with the desire that they are superior). and yes both of them are young, one just out of his teens and the other is right smack in the middle of teenage hormones.. For the most part these are kind, loving individuals but right now.. they are arrogant jerks and at least one of us may not survive.. It worries me that it may be me.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Honestly You Can't Make This Up

I may have mentioned in the past that my youngest is a bit of a ditz. Now don't get me wrong she is blessed with what we refer to as the triple b's, blond, brilliant and built.. but well there are times when I am sure there really is air between those ears.

Not too long ago I wrote about her tuba incident on my blog shaunispeaks and now she has done it again. While in gym class she was attacked by a wall. Seriously, the wall moved hit her in the leg and she was sent to the nurses office.

This is the way I see it, they have these huge permanently placed curtain walls, well and firmly attached. Some of her friends (yes the boys) were goofing off and one fell into it somehow actually breaking the anchoring (which no one has ever done) causing the wall to spring loose and fly across the room slamming into my daughter and bruising her leg.

Now I know as a mother I am supposed to be sympathetic but really.. how many times can this happen before I just loose it. The girl is a walking advertisement for the goofy blond. I would say the dumb blond but really, most of those dumb blonds are laughing all the way to the bank, so who really is the dumb one??

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Seasons Greetings

One has to wonder sometimes at the realities of High School. How is it one expects a child to prepare for finals when she is missing 4 days out of 5 in choir obligations. Yes they are fun but there should be some discretion they must take the time to really understand what they are asking of these students. Yes when a student signs up he/she accepts that this will happen so of course as the time nears he/she must fulfill his/her obligations but it also means that the school needs to be reasonable.

Christmas Holidays are coming.. that means they will all be home more often not less.. I may be have to reconsider the entire four kids thing. Shudders.. ok so I am joking about the kid thing, not the shudder part. Honestly I have to get out of this place soon...

The really funny part is I actually like my kids.. omg, can any of you even tell?

Monday, December 8, 2008

I am Proud to Say I Still Have Four Kids

As I mentioned in my title, I am proud to say I still have four kids.. I have somehow managed not to clobber any of them. Although it was close for a while there.. Today I asked Cori to go to the Post Office and call me when he got there.. of course he didnt.. he came home instead. So once he came home it was then too late for me to do what I needed to do and now it will cost me over 35.00. I know a paltry sum but had he listened really listened it wouldnt have happened. Then when he got home Frankie decided it would be great fun to egg him on. So she just encouraged him until she got bored.. then they started to bicker..

Now these two are gifted bickerers.. I swear they can spend hours arguing about something they actually agree upon. Cori is my child the most like me and Frankie is the one most like my mom.. so of course they are the two most likely to drive me insane. I found out tonight that as children they actually had planned to spend their entire lives together. They had planned their homes to connect via the basement and will happily spend the rest of their lives driving the world insane.. and yes this is a very real possibility. Of all my children they have always been the closest.. in some ways one person.

Cori is a bit immature and flighty, artistic and goofy.. Frankie is too mature, logical and grounded. they are a mere 20 months apart so the maturity level evens things out quite well. When they were little Cori had no problem spending time playing dolls and Frankie would drag out the tonka trucks.. they could play for hours until the fighting started. Then they could fight for hours. As you can see nothing has changed. Except the irksomeness of their fighting has gotten worse...

Enough to drive a mother insane... but for today I abstained.. they live

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Control Freak and The Other Control Freak

So Cori is the biggest control freak on the face of the earth, he has to decide what tv show is on, what way to lay the cards when playing cards, when to cover up, when to turn the heater on... the list is endless. There are times when I swear his need to control borders on abusiveness.. not in being mean but he will suddenly decide he wants to cover you up.. a nice thought in itself but there are a few issues.. 1 you don't want to be covered up or 2. it is not the way you want to be covered up. Now when it pertains only to oneself it is quirky but when you enforce it upon others.. like I said borderline abusive.

Fortunately, whenever he decides he is in control JR will speak up.. because we all know it is JR who is really king of the castle. The one the sun rises and sets for.. the world revolves around.. etc. Now JR has stepped up this year and really helped out, a lot but he seems to think that means he gets the final say in what is going on. Forget all the years when I did it all without any help from anyone... now because things are tough, I am struggling he thinks he is the right hand of god or something...

Now when these two clash I swear it is big bang all over again. Now Cori never ever shuts up.. if he is breathing he is talking.. most of the time we ignore him because really what else can we do? and JR seems to think that he can dictate when others speak or dont speak so the feud gets a bit extreme. And the part that irks me.. I want Cori to shut up.. honestly... but I don't think JR has the right to tell him so. So I have to take Cori's side.. talk about irksome..

and I am not even going to go into the life of the Queen B's

Friday, December 5, 2008

Holiday Traditions

Each family has traditions unique to themselves and their heritage. In our house we have managed to combine traditions, create our own and just have some great memories. As I have stated before one of our family traditions is going to the movies on Christmas day, I hope we can manage that this year it is a fun time.

Another thing my kids have always done is slept in the same room Christmas Eve, now of course this year that is not going to be an issue but... over the years it has become a fun tradition.. because yes teenagers that they are they will trudge into a room to be together and watch movies.. knowing that they can not come out until 7am.. If they come out before that Santa may not have been there and they will miss their chance because Santa only comes when children are asleep.. Hey it worked.

Of course this started when they were little and I was trying to put presents together or figure things out late at night.. invariably I would fall asleep and around 6am get myself up and get everything finished in time. And really does it matter? somehow I have managed to make sure my kids do not wake up until 7am on Christmas morning.. what a gift

Thursday, December 4, 2008

What I Want For Christmas

I have been blessed, I have the greatest children imaginable. Oh they are irritating and annoying I often dream of sending them off to far away places, like Mars but in general they are pretty cool. What other four young individuals, two of whom are old enough to leave and have a life of their own, would stick around and help support their family? Would stay in a hotel and donate their income to providing for the whole rather than worrying about themselves? I am immensely proud of them.

But what I would like for Christmas is a home. I would like to have a place where we can live for the next 3 and 1 half years. I would like to offer them a sense of security until at least Remi graduates from High School. I know there are some much worse off but this is what I am dealing with and these are my dreams. I would like to offer these wonderful children just a few more years of childhood. The right to have a place where they can go and know they are surrounded not just by their family but by their things. To be able to do something as simple as watch the TV show they choose and not the one decided upon by the one who holds the remote. Simple things really..

I figure the amount I have paid here in the last year in approx. twice what I would have paid in rent to an apartment so affording a place is not the problem it is finding one. So what I want for Christmas? is a home, one that my kids can wake up to on Christmas morning and be happy.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I just Like this Pic

a couple of years ago i had the privilege to photograph a quinceinera and this was one of the artsy pics I conned them into allowing me to take

Monday, December 1, 2008

Watching the Dandelions Grow

My oldest son JR has the kind of life and friendships that we see on T.V. Those kind of bonds where vastly different individuals merge together to make lifelong friendships. He has one friend in particular that is near and dear to my heart..

This young man has been his best friend since the age of 6 months and I can tell you he is as much my child as any of the ones I gave birth to and JR is their 3rd son.. Actually JR would not be where he is today would not be the man he is becoming without that family. My son who spent most of his life as the man of the household was taught what it meant to be a father by watching Mar's example. I don't feel I have played anywhere near as strong of a part in Jeries' life but I know he feels safe and secure in my home He knows he can come to me or talk to me about anything.

Anyway Jeries and JR are these insane young men, bright, clever and talented BUT they can be a terror when they are together. There was actually a rule put into place at their school that if all possible they should not be put in the same classes as they tend to drive a teacher insane. Not because they were bad or troublemakers but because they have their own world their own way of doing things and they tend to take over. For example.. one year I went with them to registration we were sitting in line waiting our turn when I said well I assumed... My son said well you know what happens when you assume dont you? and Jeries without skipping a beat looked up and said yeah it killed the cat.

Welcome to my world