Moving Out

PITA Boy is my last child standing.. all the others have left the nest. While the girls are really only off to college, I am sure I will see them less and less. Both are planning spring break trips and extended summer  trips. That's ok, it's how life should be. Hair Boy left the nest a few years ago and PITA boy has been making sounds for a while.. But lately the sounds have been getting louder. 

The other day he asked me if I was going to be ok once he left. Hair Boy went through the same issues when he left. I get it, really I do, they are strong men who care about me but seriously, I did manage to raise four kids on my own. Sure, I had the occasional (or frequent) helping hand but day in and day out I raised them. Now with them leaving they seem to think I won't be able to function without them. If it wasn't so sweet I might be offended. 

It will be odd, not having to care for others day to day but that just means the adventure is beginning!! I am so excited for him and yes for me

Shauni

A New Direction

Just taking a moment to stop in and say hey.. Life has been trudgin along full of potholes and teenage angst. Right now we are trying to figure out what college word girl is going to and whether or not pita boy is going to join the navy but it is Hair Boy who is offering me the most change.

This weekend, yes just four days away my baby (21 1/2 years old, 6'8") is moving to his own place. I will surely miss him. He is moving down state to go to school and get an apt with his friends. I am sure he will be checking in on me constantly because he is sure I can't breathe on my own and need constant surveillance but still, I will miss him.

I am still computerless so I am only on sporadically I am trying to be online once a week or so but if you look at the past few blogs you will see how that has worked out for me so far....

be well all.. enjoy those beasties in your life.. I mean if we didn't have them what would we have to write about?

Track Meets and Summer Jobs

When my kids were little I had a million stories to tell about them... day to day adventures. Over time they started having adventures without me.. lately it seems they are trying their darnedest to keep me out of their lives.. darn kids are growing up...

Word Girl is immersed in track.. she is a shot putter and discus thrower and yet I have never gone to see her... she never even lets me know when the meets are.. I am the mom who goes to everything... I am gonna have to get mad at her about that soon...

Blond Girl... well she just finished up with the play and had the time of her life.. next up for her finals and California (poor thing)

Pita Boy is gearing up for his summer gig as a lifeguard.. He is good at this.. if he wanted to he could be a head guard but likes to just work.. my boy if nothing else is a worker.. he is happiest when doing just that

Hair Boy is working working working.. I know he wants to have a road trip this summer with his friends and I hope it works out.. He has been so good about giving up his wants to help the family...

and me.. I am not really that sad.. I raised them this way... to be independent strong creative people, unlike their mother.. who needs constant validation..

Sometimes the Schools Get it Right

Last night Blond Girl came home and although exhausted proceded to tell about her day. She had a field trip and had gone to see a stage rendition of.. "Of Mice and Men". She was telling me about how it had made her cry and what it was about (like I haven't read it) but she was very excited.

Suddenly Word Girl and Pita Boy popped in and began a lively, interesting, informed debate. Oh it was wonderful.. Yes they were disagreeing they were arguing but it was about a classic piece of literature. Each had an informed opinion and had the facts to back it up. Oh I was so very proud.

Halfway through the debate I realized that our school system must be doing something right.. For all three of them to have been able to make such remarks and comments it meant they had not only read the book, seen either the movie or play but they had also discussed it in class. And thankfully it was on one of the two Steinbeck books I actually enjoyed..

I chose to stay out of this discussion even though all three gave me plenty of opportunity to join in and none of them would have been upset had I done so. But this was their time, the stretching of their minds.. A far cry from gossip girls and Family Man...

Would They Just Leave Already?

So it is day 4 of my weekend of torture. At no point since this fiasco of a school break has occured that I have time alone. Oh one or two will be gone and once even three but there is always that straggler.

I suppose it would be better if they had a place to go, I mean another room or something but alas that still hasn't occurred. So we sit here trying not to kill each other. Finding pleasure in books, TV and Movies.. well they find that sense of joy in bickering and fighting.

If my middle two ever actually leave my home I am going to insist they either live together say in Australia or live in separate parts of the world. Either way they will be out of my hair.

The good news is, so far you will not be reading about me in the news.

The Power Rangers Generation

When Hair Boy was 5, barely in kindergarten there was this TV show, it came on like gangbusters drew all the little boys in, yes it was The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. A campy cartoon like show with Caricatures rather than Characters. Poorly written the acting was even worse but oh how the young boys loved it. It came on at 2:30 every day and woe was me if we were not home to watch it.

The marketing of course was brilliant and that first Christmas a power rangers action figure was a must, think cabbage patch crazy.. Of course somehow we managed to find a few figures for my sons, including the oh so desired Red Ranger.. The following Halloween, the show still going strong a Power Ranger was the most desired costume, and even the girls were starting to join in.. gotta love that pink ranger.

Every couple of years the show would evolve, characters would change and now 15 years later it is still on. Oh not every day but every Saturday morning. Ok, that is not too bad I mean it is fun in a campy sort of way and there is a certain message of good behavior, good vs. evil and leadership. But can someone please tell me when my kids (remember 20, 19, 17 and 14) are going to STOP watching it? To be fair Hair Boy is usually gone or asleep when it comes on but he has been known to stop and catch an episode..

If even one child is home I can hear the refrain from the show blasting over the airways.. One has to wonder at the insanity of these children and if I totally ruined them for life.

10 Things Only I Can Do Around the House

It is an amazing fact that there are things in our household that only I can do. I thought I would share a few with you all.

1. throw empty containers away (food, beverage, shampoo)

2. replace the toilet paper

3. hang up wet towels

4. put laundry away

5. do laundry

6. empty the trash.. to them the overflowing just means well i hope it makes it.

7. wash the dishes

8. pass out money (oh they all have their own just dont like to use it)

9. make phone calls, to say colleges, doctors, whatever

10. go to the post office..

Back in the day when I planned my children (and the first three were planned almost to the day they were born) I thought it would be cool to have them so close together... to have a unit.. I now often wonder what was I thinking?

Oh well, ain't life grand?

Why Is It?

So why is it when you borrow money from them, they stalk you until you return the funds. Calling work, cell phone, whatever they deem necessary with that ever important question... did you get your check? but when they borrow it from you, you may as well wave bye bye to it?

I have considered making a giant chart and using it as wall art in the hallway.. for money that has been borrowed. I will be scrupulously honest as to who has borrowed what and when. I can guarantee you even with the current assistance my oldest is making to help make ends meet.. give me a month or two (and that is only because he has been helping a lot) and the tables will be turned.

The same goes for housework... I mean yes they have chores and I don't (allegedly) but who is that they think follows along and actually does the work that they claim to have done? or re does it so it is done correctly? I think another chart hanging on the wall would suffice...

If nothing else it would make for some interesting artwork.

How Come?

How come when our children are little they utter the cutest things? We are amazed and astounded by their observations. We wait with baited breath for their next utterance.

Once they hit a certain age, say 4... that so stops. Then as the years progress we consider all sorts of options on how to keep them quiet. Culminating in the teenage years where a muzzle is constantly considered. Their utterances are no longer witty and perceptive... they are rude and arrogant.. they know it all and we are just worthless appendages that hang around to feed them, clothe them, shelter them and cater to their every need.

In my case, my oldest helps out, pays about 25% of the rent, which we could not survive without his help, but he is under the impression that, that gives him the right to voice his opinions on.... My parenting skills, my amazing sense of or lack of sense of financial abilities.. the fact that I haven't yet acquired a job (can't be the job market must be me)

I have heard rumors that they outgrow these tendencies... I am waiting..

What is the best Way to Win an Argument

What is the best way to win an argument? According to the rest of the world it is by not getting involved, to shut up and walk away... But in MY HOUSE....

According to daughter number 1, who has never met an argument she didn't like, it is to yell and scream and of course have the last word. To put others down then get upset when they react. To expect me to defend her when she pushes her brother too far.. and of course to always believe that she is right.

This from the child I would most like to muzzle! She has ever gotten herself into trouble merely because she cant keep her mouth shut.. Today of course is no different and yet she walks around the wounded victim not understanding that it is just as much her fault as anyone elses...

oh well, what was it I said yesterday? Oh yeah and I CHOSE to have children...
sheesh

And I Chose to Have Children

Sitting around today watching movies and such...

Cori is sick so wants a detailed explanation about what is happening while he is indisposed. For those of you who don't know, Cori has ADHD and it is sometimes easier to just give in then to let him keep pestering you until you go insane.. so Rem started telling him what was going on. It went something like this

Cori: so what happened while I....

Rem: well they made the boom boom, then...

Me: the boom boom?

Cori: sex?

Rem: yeah so they made the boom boom....

then while I was laughing at their antics and wonderful communication skills, I tossed my head and ran my fingers through it. Only to hear

Frankie: Mom you are not a supermodel and there is no fan there....

Just think... I CHOSE to have children.

Thank You God for the Wonderful Day

today was fun, quiet for one of our family Christmas's but as the children grow older and start to have their own lives. I have to wonder will this be the last when we are all together?
Each moment with them is a precious one (even the ones when I am considering alternative parenting methods...like closet locking). I know they are all so close to spreading their wings and moving on.

yes I often comment about how in 3 1/2 years I will start my life, or life begins at 50 or all sorts of comments like that but really.. I have been blessed with some pretty awesome kids and I will miss them when they go.

so yes, today was a good day... one more Christmas where all of my children were home, together, healthy, happy and not fighting (hey it happens once a year.. this year it was Christmas day)

other than a few embarrassing mishaps.. Christmas was good.. and how was yours?

Movie Time With My Girls

Last night I had the joy and the priveledge of expending my hard earned money on a night at the movies with my girls. Of course we had to go see Twilight a huge favorite in our home.

Both girls somehow managed to work it into their schedules to allow mom to take them to the movies. Now movies play a huge part in my relationships with my children. We somehow have managed to find time to attend several big movies together. It is a fun time and we do enjoy it. One could call it family time where we didn't have to talk.

Over the years we have turned Thanksgiving and Christmas both into huge movie days. We go to the movies and out for Thanksgiving dinner. It is perfect, I hate to cook so I get to enjoy it and we get some pretty good family time together. Christmas is usually a little more difficult as the usual restaurants are not open so I am forced to actually make a meal.. but the movie theatres are.

This year I am not sure what movies we will see. We can pretty much cross Twilight off the list.. well maybe the boys want to see it.. who knows. but I am looking forward to spending this day with my kids. No matter how tough life gets lat least 2 days a year we go to the movies.

Season's Over

Finally officially girls swim season is over. This year has been one of the hardest seasons ever, I was basically banned from the meets by the blond one. For those that know me, they know I religiously support my kids I attend functions enjoy their activities and basically embarrass the crap out of them. Then on the other hand ignore me (unless the need money) are rude to me (unless they need money) and tell their friends that they are adopted (unless they need money). But this year I honored the child's request and did not go to many meets she swore she swam better when I was not there.

So the banquet comes along and I have no clue who half of these girls are, have no clue what they have accomplished and for the most part feel out of sync.. you know like a normal parent. Next year I am going to the meets, times be damned..

For the first year Frankie did not win a team award, which was ok as she was injured initially and never quite mentally made it back to the team. But next year is her senior year and she may give up swimming after that. As much as it upsets me she may actually not swim in college. What a waste she has such potential let a serious coach get his/her hands on Frankie for a couple of years and this girl will fly.. she already is power in the water..

And Rem, well she finally took swimming seriously, no longer is she just the one who looks cute in a suit..

years ago.. I commented if I could combine my kids I would have an Olympic Swimmer.. JR is a thinking swimmer, Cori has heart and Frankie has tons of natural talent.. and there is my Olympic Swimmer.. throw in Rem and you have an Olympic Swimmer on the cover of Sports Illustrated..

Contrary Creatures

Before I started writing my blogs, my kids had interesting creative fun lives.. since I have started they all turned into poo heads..

Oh well going back into the annuls of my mind then

Back when I was pregnant with Remi, my oldest three being the uniquely clever beasties that they were set out once again to drive me insane. Let me get this clear for years they had one name.. JRCORIFRANKIE.... yelled over and over again. this time here they were, supposedly playing safely in the backyard. I look out the window and there they were perched high atop the landlords RV.. 5, 4 and 2. I must tell you it totally scared the beejeebers out of me. I rushed from the house (an attractive site as I was 3 years preggers and Remi ended up arriving at 10lb 3 oz) bellowing for them to get down now. Of course they froze and were suddenly stuck up there and I had to climb up and help them down. Still not sure if they were safer on top of the thing or having me "help" them down.

I am eternally grateful that A) none of them seem to remember this and B) there were no cameras around.

Saturday Morning Wake Up

Remember those lovely days.. when we could sleep in, enjoy the moment? Oh Saturday the day when life just took a morning off.. and then we had kids..

Now I always figured that with the onset of the teenage years they would have that deepest desire to sleep in, to lounge the day away.. yeah hasn't happened yet.

Let's see there is JR off to work, alarm blaring, phone ringing (and yes the residents of the next town can hear this ring)

then there is Cori, oh come on just because you are awake does not mean that I need to be...

Frankie.. well this girl gets up at 4:30 in the morning because she likes it.. so when she and Cori are both up.. it is what is the word I am looking for.. oh yeah explosive.

And finally Remi, now that girl can sleep.. of course she is the one who always seems to HAVE to be somewhere on Saturday mornings.. and I spend an hour or two just waking her up..

I know they will be gone soon enough.. I am thinking of getting an RV and traveling about the country.. yes to see it but also well to escape the mommy ritual.

Genetically Predisposed

So I have been spending a lot of times with my youngest son, I have realized that no matter how good of a parent I am. No matter how much time I spend on teaching my sons to be husbands and not just men.. I have failed..

There are some things that they are just genetically predisposed to.. I mean give a man a remote control.. Would it be that difficult to watch one show at a time? To not have to view several shows at once, I can even sit through a commercial break if the need so arose. It is not that difficult.

What gets me, is it a hormone that comes along with the DNA? Or other certain parts.. one has to wonder. and then wonder if some cases are more severe than others.. and why did I get the one with an extreme case? Or is it that all men are just born with ADD and have the attention span of gnats? Dont get me wrong I am not men bashing.. some things come with the DNA we can't help it.

But I can promise you this, the first thing I do when we move is make sure he has a space of his own 1 TV and 400 remotes with no batteries.. let him figure it out.

Mondays

Oh how I live for that moment when they are off..

that moment of silence when there is no one home and I can dance around the room..

Pure bliss never had such meaning..

And then what do I do? I start thinking of ways I can make their lives better.. How sweet they are what good kids they are.. hello did anyone read my last blog?

what is it exactly about mothers? are we masochists? well yeah I suppose we are.. because we get years of abuse for mere moments of love and we treasure those moments we bring them out and display them for all to see..

shaking my head and wondering..

Another Weekend In Captivity

Want to know the worst part about living in a hotel room with 4 teenagers? Living in a hotel room with 4 teenagers.

Seriously, there is no place to send them.. no place to hide. You can't go into the bathroom, they may need it. One can only wander the halls for so long before you start getting funny looks. And private phone calls? Yeah like that is going to happen. For some reason they revert to toddlers, I am on the phone and they want my attention. I thought they had outgrown that.

Or my favorite is when they are not fighting.. when they are just having fun.. there is no room for fun here!! sheesh.. the oldest plays the guitar.. so he has to practice.. the youngest plays the tuba.. thank goodness she has decided to practice as she can at school. Homework? where is there room for that? Time schedules? no one is on the same one so I find I am now up all night just to have private time.

Don't get me wrong, I am the reason we got stuck here.. but even when things are good in here. they are insane..

Thank God I almost like them all

A Mother's Pride

This has been a difficult couple of days for us. As we are struggling living all cooped up in one room. Well we have been living like this for a year but the past few days have been more stressful than others.

We were inches away from not even having this lovely domicile to call our own. Actually we have been grateful for it but it has cost us way more than we should be paying and it is beyond our means.. for a single room. Anyway as we struggled to find our money as usual a child stepped up.

This time it was Cori.. he had walked several miles to cash his check and go to target to pick up some stuff. but I called him and we talked.. he put everything away and brought his check home to me.. I didn't ask, he offered. Then when he got home.. did he fuss and muss? nope he got it together and started to pack things up, just in case. No stress no struggle.. How can a mother not be proud of that?

Of course when I had resolved the issue.. the ever loving pain in the ass was back to normal.. picking fights with his sisters and driving me nuts.. Hello you are 18 haven't you outgrown that yet?

Anyway just thought I would share