Hair Boy on a Temper Tantrum

Sure enough spend a few minutes with his father and he turns into a jerk. Lately I have been talking to him about moving out and getting his own place getting on with his life and just getting out. I know he has been a doll he has helped out immensly he steps up whenever the need arises but it is time to move on.

Well after time with his father he has decided that he has the right to criticize and insult the way I do things. He is under the impression that it is ok to throw fits and rant and rave. Wrong!! I am still the parent, I am still the one who makes sure he has whatever he needs. I am the one who filled out his fafsfa, I am the one who does his taxes... I am the one who makes the phone calls to pave the way to make things easier.. in short I am the one who takes care and nurtures him. And frankly I am the one who makes sure he has a roof over his head. It may not be much, it may not be the best but it is there.

I am just tired of the attitude coming off of the men in my life. One insults my parenting after he maybe shows up 10 times a year (he lives 20 minutes away), one insults my parenting as he has yet to do one grown up thing for himself and one is just a pain in my rear...

Ok, the rant on the boys is over.. tomorrow the girls (giggles not really...)

Trying to Offer Them What I Didn't Get

At the age of 2 it was pretty much decided that at the age of 18 I would be gone. Now don't get me wrong I was not and am not a troublemaker or even an instigator what I am is a emotional reactor, with more than a trace of creative bohemian thrown in. Having been raised by those who respect logic and organization needless to say I was a fish out of water. So at 2 it was decided.. at 18 I moved out. This was a mistake, I was mature but not quite ready to go. Of course I didn't know that I was 18 so of course I assumed that I was ready, that and the fact that I knew it was time to go..having been told that since I was 2.

When I had children I decided that I was going to be the parent they needed not expect them to be the children I needed. I am still trying to figure out if this was a good choice. I have spent 20 years being there from mom&me to college football games (to support the band of course).

When JR decided to flunk out of college, instead of saying too bad so sad I said get it together.. He took a year off and is back taking it way more seriously. Having had that year to grow up figure out that he doesn't want my life and that it is time to grow up. While we have been here living this year of fiasco and stress he has stepped up and helped out. Of course that means he gets to treat me as though I didn't spend the previous 19 years taking care of everything. Yes it was crazy and rather flaky but he was fed, grew up in the same town and has had life long friends. So personally I think it is time to just shut up and say hey thanks.

Cori was born just a bit different, more like me.. well more me than me.. wanting to create a sense of self esteem in him I spent a lifetime encouraging him to be different go ahead as long as basic rules are followed.. safety, social he would be fine. Now at 18 he thinks that he is the end all and I am worthless.. Yet he offers little but stress to my day to day living.

Yes I know both of these two individuals are males and I a mere female (yes even in today's society men are still ingrained with the desire that they are superior). and yes both of them are young, one just out of his teens and the other is right smack in the middle of teenage hormones.. For the most part these are kind, loving individuals but right now.. they are arrogant jerks and at least one of us may not survive.. It worries me that it may be me.

Genetically Predisposed

So I have been spending a lot of times with my youngest son, I have realized that no matter how good of a parent I am. No matter how much time I spend on teaching my sons to be husbands and not just men.. I have failed..

There are some things that they are just genetically predisposed to.. I mean give a man a remote control.. Would it be that difficult to watch one show at a time? To not have to view several shows at once, I can even sit through a commercial break if the need so arose. It is not that difficult.

What gets me, is it a hormone that comes along with the DNA? Or other certain parts.. one has to wonder. and then wonder if some cases are more severe than others.. and why did I get the one with an extreme case? Or is it that all men are just born with ADD and have the attention span of gnats? Dont get me wrong I am not men bashing.. some things come with the DNA we can't help it.

But I can promise you this, the first thing I do when we move is make sure he has a space of his own 1 TV and 400 remotes with no batteries.. let him figure it out.

A Mother's Pride

This has been a difficult couple of days for us. As we are struggling living all cooped up in one room. Well we have been living like this for a year but the past few days have been more stressful than others.

We were inches away from not even having this lovely domicile to call our own. Actually we have been grateful for it but it has cost us way more than we should be paying and it is beyond our means.. for a single room. Anyway as we struggled to find our money as usual a child stepped up.

This time it was Cori.. he had walked several miles to cash his check and go to target to pick up some stuff. but I called him and we talked.. he put everything away and brought his check home to me.. I didn't ask, he offered. Then when he got home.. did he fuss and muss? nope he got it together and started to pack things up, just in case. No stress no struggle.. How can a mother not be proud of that?

Of course when I had resolved the issue.. the ever loving pain in the ass was back to normal.. picking fights with his sisters and driving me nuts.. Hello you are 18 haven't you outgrown that yet?

Anyway just thought I would share