A Mother Can Brag, Right?

My oldest daughter "Word Girl" Has spent her life in what she saw as the shadows. I saw this amazing girl who quietly led. Ok, not so quietly as she is named Word Girl for a reason but.. While others strove for the limelight my girl would go about her business and others would follow. When in the 6th grade she found herself odd girl out, she met new people and formed a group of friends that others envied. Never one to shut anyone out she made sure no one was excluded. When a "mean girl" yep we all know they exist, crashed the party and somehow she found herself on the outside looking in on her own group of friends.. she cried a bit but started over and slowly built a new group of friends.. eventually her real friends realized what a mistake they made and my girl, being who she was forgave them and accepted them all back as the true friend she is.. When this same girl crashed again, she too was accepted and forgiven. Of course when she broke my girls heart a second time, I made sure everyone knew. Word Girl might forgive her but she was never welcome in my presence again. Not in my house, my car or any group I was involved in. Sorry, I am not as nice as my girl.

She never considered herself a leader. Both Blond Girl and PITA Boy had band with her in HS and both would comment on how everyone respected her. How even though she didn't have a "title" she was the one who ran the band.. what Word Girl suggested is usually what happened. 

Of course my girl never knew that she lead. She saw herself as just a girl.. who wanted to make sure everyone was included and no one was bullied or picked upon. She defended kids who she felt needed it, up to and including those who were bullied by teachers.. she didn't accept that anyone had the "right" to pick on another. This of course often got her into trouble. 

She was never that sweet little barbie girl.. she always voiced her opinion and in her world..there was good and there was bad, there was right and there was wrong, there was black and there was right... this caused her problems as early as preschool activities.. because in her mind NO ONE was exempt.. Rules were rules.

As a kinder-gardener when her father and I split up.. she over heard the principal telling her teacher how allowances had to be made for this child who was acting up because the parents were divorced.. My girl looked up at the two of them and said.. "my parents split up and my mom would kick my butt if I acted like that.." Since neither the teacher nor principle knew of my split they were astounded. But in a way my girl said it all.. There are reasons but no excuses.. everyone should be expected to behave by the rules.

I say this because she amazes me.. 

Last week I got this link sent to me on Facebook http://myirha.com/Illinois_Residence_Hall_Association/IRHA_2013_files/WIU_13.pdf

With a note saying I couldn't share yet.. believe me this was the hardest thing I have ever done since I was so very, very proud of her!! But I kept my mouth shut.. She told me I could finally share it since she was awarded this award.. 

For those of you who don't have PDF.. I posted the basics below.. I Left out he Reference Letters AND I couldn't get the pictures from the PDF file.. 

“Slow and steady wins the race“

Carlene Verstraete Outstanding Service Award

IRHA 2013

“Slow and steady  wins the race“

“Frankie is truly a leader who works hard at everything she does. She puts aside her individual needs to always help  and assist others. She is 

what I call the producer behind the production of a success.“ 

-Cedricka Carver, Assistant Complex Director

“Frankie is a true example of a student leader. She inspires so many people to strive for their dreams regardless of how big they are. She is an inspiration to everyone that she comes in contact with.“

-Levi Campbell, NCC/ICC Inter-Hall Council

2010-2011 Freshman Year

Camp Leatherneck Attendee

Frankie started off her college career in a progressive way by attending Camp Leatherneck. This is a three day leadership retreat for incoming freshman who were looking to get involved on campus. That was exactly Frankie’s goal. Before the school year even officially commenced Frankie had the opportunity to interact with upperclassmen student leaders as well as 100 other incoming freshmen that had the same exact goal as her.  Even at Camp Leatherneck other student leaders and administrators began to see the leadership potential in Frankie, she was a shy girl who had tons of potential although she didn’t always see it in herself. 

Hall Government

Like any good student, Frankie got her start in hall government her freshman year. One ordinary Monday her RA stopped by her door and invited her to hall government and Frankie make the decision to attend the meeting and life hasn’t been the same since. Every Monday Frankie showed up and was always there to help and participate. The Executive Board knew they could always count on her face as a consistent support for the hall government as well as a knowledgeable voting member at any of the Legislation that came to the hall. Once again it was very apparent that Frankie was going to go on to big and amazing things.

Inter-Hall Council -Late Nights Chair

Also her freshman year Frankie decided to join in our Inter-Hall council; with that she was appointed the Late-Nights committee chair. The Late-Nights committee is a very important committee within Inter-Hall council because it does late night programming for students who want alternative ways to have fun outside of drinking and going out on our campus. It was a big deal that Frankie was the committee chair only as a freshman but nobody disputed it. The potential that Frankie showed even back at camp was now starting to blossom. With the help of her committee and two advisors Frankie 

successfully hosted numerous large-scale programming efforts for alternative nights out. These programs include, but are not limited to; Club Wetzel, Graffiti Dance Party, Insomniac Olympics, LateNight Bowling, and so many more.

“Ever since I have met Frankie, she has had the urge to get involved. She is involved in so many things on campus I can''''' not even count them all. Most people forget to recognize all of the work Frankie does at our school because she is not in a “higher up“ position. However, Frankie goes above and beyond in her duties and expectations on her committees because she is always willing to help other members, including the chair, with their tasks for the week. Frankie is thoroughly deserving of this award.“ 

-Katelyn Kott, Big Pink Volleyball Volunteer ChairGLACURH–bids -delegate (presented SALT)

It seems as if attending Hall Gov and being a part of InterHall Council would be enough for any normal leader’s plate, but Frankie was not a normal leader. Because she was such a quiet influence on campus she was able to 

juggle so much more than the average student.  So it comes as no surprise that she was also available to help out in our conference world as well. Frankie was selected to be a part of GLACURH delegation for the year 2010. 

On the delegation Frankie Immediately began about helping to create bids and spirit items. She was a part of the SALT Award presentation at the conference and she also excitedly attended many conference programs.  

Frankie was more than thrilled to bring the things that she learned at the regional conference back to campus. 

IRHA  -bids  -delegate/presenter

Because of Frankie’s dedicated, yet, subtle nature it came as no surprise that she was selected to attend the IRHA conference. Throughout the conference and conference prep, Frankie vigorously participated in the delegation as well as, helping to create and present bids at the conference. It is at IRHA 

that Frankie realized her love for not only residence halls, but student leadership within the residence halls and IRHA as well. Frankie 

showed the perfect example of true IRHA luv and she learned that love at the IRHA 2011 conference.

Top ten ways to start off with a bang your freshman year! 

• Stuff the bus

• Make a difference day ( sorted out Christmas lights for Wesley 

Village)

• Homecoming participant for Tanner Hall

• NACURH Delegate/Volunteer

• Summer Assistant

• Zoology Club 

• Students Today Leaders Forever

• Volunteer week ( flew kites with kids, Bingo at Wesley Village)

• Participated in Take Back the Night

• St. Baldrick’s Participant

“Frankie is the type of person who puts others needs before her own, she is the prime example of a leader. Frankie has shown outstanding service not only to our school but across the United States as a volunteer with the non profit organization Students Today Leaders Forever.... Frankie is a Leader Forever.“

     -Juan Guerrero, Regional Core STLFIHC Vice President

Her sophomore year Frankie decided to let her love show even more by joining the Inter-hall Council Executive Board as Vice President. As vice president she was in charge of all of the committees that functioned under Inter-hall Council. She held weekly one on ones with committee chairs and she gave them guidance on how to lead the committee and have effective programming. Frankie was especially useful because she was previously a committee chair and she knew exactly what they were going through. Under her reign as VP Frankie was able to accomplish so much with the committees including creating a brand-new committee and as well as restructuring already functioning committees.

IRHA

As you might imagine Frankie’s commitment did not stop there. Frankie also attended the IRHA conference for her sophomore year. As a part of the delegation Frankie helped us write numerous bids and was a key success to so many of our bids winning at the state level. Frankie is always the type of  person that will assist in recognizing others and often times she goes over looked  and unrecognized herself because of the type of phenomenal leader she is.

GLACURH and NACURH

Even though she couldn’t attend GLACURH 2011, Frankie helped us create bids and prepared the delegation for the conference. Frankie decided that she would not attend the conference and sacrificed her spot to an incoming student who hadn’t had the chance to attend GLACURH. This act was very 

commendable of Frankie and is all the more reason that she deserves an award such as this one. Her dedication did not go unrecognized though because Frankie was then selected to be a part of the NACURH 2012 delegation.

STLF

Frankie also realized her passion extended way past residence life and expanded to student leadership in general. She continued being a member of Students Today Leaders Forever (STLF) for the second year in a row, which is the alternative spring break trip that WIU participates in every year. Frankie was a very active member as she attended multiple tours including being guides for the Elgin High School and Denver K.I.P.P. schools as well as, 

attending the college tour. 

2011-2012 Sophomore Year 2012-2013 Junior Year

My Words Matter Committee

Frankie has always been the type of student that was more about getting things done. That is why it was perfectly in her character to be a part of a small group that initiated a program on campus entitled “My Words Matter.”  Within this program, a few Graduate students got together and recruited a few Undergraduates, Frankie being one of them, and hosted a Campus Wide 

program that urged students to be more aware of how words could be offensive or hurtful to certain groups of people. 

Second year, twice as big impact! 

Other things Frankie participated in this year was… 

• Zoology Club

• STLF

• Homecoming Secretary

• Stuff the Bus

• Traveled to Mizzou to cheer on WIU Football

• Bayliss and Henninger Hall Mud Volleyball 

• Thompson Hall’s Big Pink Volleyball participant

• LWG Hall Westerns Got Talent participant

• Camp Leatherneck Leader

• St. Baldrick’s participant

• Desk Assistant

• Summer Assistant

Inter-Hall Council- 

As a Junior, Frankie could have decided to take a break from all her student leadership activities but she chose not to. This year Frankie is still going strong as a part of Inter-Hall Council. She is a member of the Late-Nights Committee,  and she always offers her guidance and knowledge to the group whenever solicited. She attends IHC every Wednesday even though she is not required to do so.

IRHA Conference Staff

Frankie has a ridiculous amount of IRHA luv! So it should come as no surprise that she is a member of the IRHA 2013 conference staff. As the PR and 

Technology Chair, the team depends greatly on Frankie to maintain the website, Facebook page, and Twitter account. She is the pinnacle success 

to a lot of what we do with the conference group. Camp Leatherneck Leader

For the last two years, Frankie has been selected to be a Camp Leatherneck Leader. This is one of the most sought after leadership positions on campus 

and Frankie was fortunate enough to receive it because of her humble spirit and dedication to student leadership. Now as a Leatherneck Leader, 

she has the ability to provide opportunities to incoming freshmen the same opportunities she 

Third year and She’s still going strong was provided. 

• STLF Bus Core

• Stuff the bus

• Chi omega

• Variety Show Participant

• Bid Captain

• Desk assistant –captain

• Fundraising team for Conservation Trip to Peru

“Frankie does a wonderful job as the Desk Captain in Higgins. She is very friendly to all of the students and employees, but more importantly, she does a great job of completing tasks or implementing processes on her own, with little to no direction. She is an awesome leader and rarely asks for attention in the spotlight. Similarly, I supervised her over the summer when she was a Summer Assistant, and she provided a wealth of experience and knowledge to her fellow SAs, helping them work through issues. Frankie is very competent and knowledgeable, and she truly cares about others.“

      - Joe Nixon, Higgins Hall Complex Directo

Rip Out My Baby's Heart... Then Ask Me to Fundraise...

Well awards nights are ever interesting.. Blond Girl as many of you know is very active in band and choir.. She enjoys both extensively. She is in swing choir and jazz band both extracurricular activities where she gives up plenty of both school and personal time. For jazz band she even learned a new instrument in order to participate..

Tonight was awards night and I wasn't able to make it but halfway through it I got a phone call from a friend.. her son and Blond Girl were the only two members of jazz band not to letter. Now you have to know these two.. they are charming, articulate and bright. saxophone boy changed from the alto to bari sax (which he HATES) for jazz band and blond girl learned the trombone. These are kids who wanted to be there.. made the sacrifice requested and yet still got left on the side like yesterdays trash..

Fortunately I have dealt with this particular teacher before I can shrug my shoulders and just give her a hug.. but my friend?? can we say ballistic?? I had to talk her down she was ready to make some anatomical suggestions as to where the bari sax could be placed.. This is the man who designed an entire song around my son in marching band... had him play his tuba for 12 measures alone while the rest of the band faced the OTHER way and yet refused to acknowledge it as a solo as it was for all the tubas in the band (of which he was the only one) and he didn't audition.. no you made him the friggin showcase but nope not a solo.. growlss that was errr 4 years ago one would think I was over it by now!! Anyway, I know arguing won't win any battles with him.. He is right.. we are wrong.. do not get me wrong the band is 500 times better now that he has stepped in.. but the kids are finding less and less joy in his presence.. how do you expect to continue such a program when the kids hate it?

Now my kids since they are all extremly musical pretty much have to participate in band I can't afford lessons and face it.. Blond Girl alone plays three instruments, officially... She loves music but what happens when she just gives up? when the teacher becomes the greatest enemy.. Hair Boy suffered many of the same problems (we won't go into the years of grief he gave this man and deserved much of the attitude he got) but musically he was and is brilliant. So now when Blond Girl comes home I get to pat her shoulder give her a hug and ask her what is more important? The joy of being in the bands she loves or not getting credit? My poor baby...

Oh yeah, and my friend, the psycho mom? she is next year's booster's VP.. I think.. if she doesn't go totally off the deep end.. I am off to send an email to see what parameters my child did not meet.. I am sure he will have sufficient grounds he isn't an ogre he just is rigid and inflexible...sighs.. sometimes it is hard to not just rip off someone's head..

oh well if life were fair I would be living the white picket fence life...

ps... Blond girl just came home all bubbly and happy because she won the most improved in Concert Band and a $100.00 scholarship.. by the time she came home she was over her anger and ready to prove herself next year.. sheesh makes me proud..

Ever Wanna Say What Lola Wants Lola Gets?

So Lola over at Lola's Diner has once again honored me with an award. She honors me more with her continued support than by any awards but hey.. I am happy with the award.

"This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver's opinion, brilliant."

Thank you so much Lola! Although why you seem to insist that my blogs are so specatular is beyond me.. I mean I know they are but I didn't realize the rest of the world had caught up

Now with this tag I have to list at least ten (10) honest things about myself, now here we go.

1. I will never ever be good enough for my mother no matter how hard I try and most days I can accept that.

2. My first car was a Ford Comet.. ugly as sin but power under the hood. Not that I ever sped or drove it more than to work or school (just in case Dad happens to see this)

3. I honestly adore teenagers and toddlers.. don't have much use for some of the in between ages as then just seem boring.. (well except my children who were of course brilliant at all stages of life).

4. If I had my way I would ditch the Chicago suburbs and be catching some rays at the Main Beach in Laguna.

5. I adore my siblings each and every one of them for different reasons but they all hold a special place in my heart.

6. If I had money I would buy an apt complex install it with solar panels and laugh as the electric company got energy back instead of cash and my tenants would not be constantly screwed.

7. I am still trying to figure out how to make my words pay for themselves.. If I could sell my poems on a regular basis my world would rock.

8. I went to a private protestant HS by choice.. and it is celebrating it's 50th anniversary next month.. GO HERALDS

9. I have almost no friends in the state of Illinois which to this day astounds me as I am a social creature and have always been surrounded by friends.

10. If I had it to do all over again I would... because if I didn't some of the things I find most precious might not be there..

now whom do I pass this on to?

1. A Mom on a Spin one of my daily must reads she cracks me up and just makes me feel better about being a mom.. and of course not so alone.

2. Crazy Mom with Four Boys yes I have four kids but she wins.. 4 boys? at least I got two and two.

3. Mom Knows Everything Come on even if I didn't adore her blog she would get prizes just for stating the obvious.

4. On the Verge Ok so I lied.. four boys is impressive four girls is heroic...

Thanks again Lola for all of your support

Ain't Life Grand Award

Now, I admit I have been a little less blog hopping over the past week or two due to computer issues. When I do I try to read what I can as quickly as I can.. Imagine my surprise when in my in box on entrecard, I found an email from Lola at Lola's Diner . This was a great award as it says exactly how I feel about life.. ain't life grand!! For any who haven't popped over to the Diner I suggest you do, she has a great blog full of family, friends and just a great place to be.


But now!! On to the award.. five reasons that make my life grand and five bloggers who are just as grand..

1. Life is grand because I have four amazing and wonderful kids who not only bring me great pride but also give me lots of things to blog about.

2. Life is grand because even when I feel like I have no where to turn there is always someone who is there to offer me a smile, a word, a shoulder to lean on.

3. Life is grand because I am at the very beginning of a new relationship.. full of promise and what if's

4. Life is grand because Anne Bishop and Stephanie Laurens both have new books out.

5. Life is grand because through the internet I have been able to keep in contact with old friends and family AND make lots of new ones..

and the winners are....

1. California Today . A wonderful view of what is so very special about California

2. A PostCard A Day . A wonderful way to share the world with those of us who want to go everywhere..

3. Mandy Harvey Beads . I love her wonderful jewlery

4. On the Verge . A wonderful mom and a fantastic fellow blogger.. always a pleasure to just go see what she is up to.

5. here and now 4angel . I love this blog she has some wonderful heartfelt poetry listed.

I had fun finding the perfect blogs for this award, I wanted to really share ones that just make my life grand..

I Think I deserve a Medal

Personally, I think I deserve a medal. I mean it is almost 2 O'Clock on a school holiday, they are all home... and all still breathing..

To me that means I deserve a medal or at least an extra dose of chocolate. Do we give out presidents day presents? and if not we should. To all the mom's out there.. who spend their day running hither and yon, breaking up fights, making meals and snacks and then having to deliver it to them. To all the mom's out there who were SUPPOSED to have a break because the kids are in school, shoot to the ones who don't get a break cuz they are just tooooo young.. I say we find a secret place, drag out the bottle of good wine we have hidden, and dip into that supply of chocolates you had to buy yourself..

Why??? because we let them live.....

Wow!! an award

One of the very best things I have found with blogging is the sense of community that is out there. It is amazing how very many people there are who understand where I am coming from and then another entirely different set who appreciate my advice.. life sure is interesting..

but this past weekend I was honored with the Promenade award by Lola at lolasdiner once again I find myself amazed to be the recipient but completely grateful...

The award states "This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

I’m passing this award on to the 8 recipients listed below. Please feel free to pass it on and share the love.

Here my recipients (in no particular order)!

B Boys Mom @ Crazy Mom With 4 Boys
Tammy @ Mom Knows Everything just saying that makes me smile
Lisa @ Adventures in JujuBoo
Liz @ A Mom on a Spin
Diana @ Diana Rambles
On the Verge
Erin @ The Mom Buzz
Julie @ A Mom Two Ways
For Women over 40 and Loving it

each has their own distinctive flair, each has a promise, a witty word or a way of pulling you in and i find myself traveling back to each of these blogs on a regular basis. Please if you haven't tripped that way yet do so, they are wonderful.

and if you havent made it over to lola's page i suggest you do so..