Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters.. This has to be the single most unique bond in your life. More so than Fathers and Sons.. This of course being said by a Mother and Daughter.. *grins*

The dynamics of a female/female relationship can be loving, argumentative  supportive, critical, encouraging, discouraging and powerful.. most of them at the same time. It is the epidamy of the love/hate relationship. Most of us seriously NEVER want to be like our mothers (no matter how good of a job they did raising us) but as soon as we grow up, it's our Mother's voice coming out of our mouths.

What we learn from our mothers...

Positive:

1. We learn that we can do anything we want
2. We learn that we are the power in the home
3. We learn that our brains have to be used on a regular basis
4. We learn that our Grandma is perfect
5. We learn that there will always be someone there who loves you unconditionally
6. We learn how to stack the dishes, fold the towels, fold the laundry a specific way
7. We learn life lessons through daily exposure (my mother taught us fractions through cooking)

Negatives:

1. We learn that not only can we do anything we want, most of the time we will have to do everything
2. We learn that sometimes it's easier to control others than to work with them
3. We learn that sometimes we have to hide our intelligence to make sure others feel secure
4. We learn that sometimes we can control those we love with guilt..
5. We learn that constructive criticism is still criticism
6. We learn that sometimes it's easier to give in and avoid a fight rather than following our dreams    

Mothers aren't perfect.. and each relationship is different.. Not just the ones we have with other mothers and daughters but those we have in our own households.. 

My mother and sister have a great relationship, they can spend time together, do things together.. My sister goes home every summer and my mom visits her frequently.. me not so much.. Our relationship is just as good, just as strong.. but it works best when we only talk when she calls me (usually every couple of months because she realizes we haven't spoken recently) I know that sounds horrid.. but it's not.. because of this we have a strong bond, can have pleasant conversations and I can usually hang up politely... *grins* 

My daughters and I both have unique relationships as well.. 

• Word Girl and I bicker, fight and struggle for control.. oh this didn't start when she went away to college, nope I think she was TWO.. honestly, this girl may be a snuggler and a sweetie but she needs to be in charge.. *rolls eyes* and we frequently but heads about this. There are times when she tries roll reversal.. my personal favorite was when she was in HS and looked at me and said "You know, Mom, I don't like your tone" Seriously? Still makes me laugh.. Believe me I responded appropriately and she never made that comment again.. 
• Blond Girl and I have a more soothing relationship. She doesn't have that need for control, probably because she spent her life growing up around Word Girl and myself.. But honestly she and I have spent time together, outings, we read similar books, we discuss things and most often we don't but heads.. does this make my relationship better? Stronger? nah.. it just is what it is.. 

I adore both of my girls and am so incredibly proud of them.. I can not wait to see what kind of mothers they turn out to be.. I have an idea but I could be way off base.

I know I am so very proud of my mother and the woman she is.. I know because of her I

1. Love to Read
2. Love the beach
3. Have a curious mind
4. Believe that I can be anything I want (as long as it's her idea and she approves *grins)
5. Believe That no one and I mean no one is better than anyone else
6. Am tolerant 
7. Am the woman I am right now...

Watching other mothers and daughters sometimes we yearn for what they have.. DON'T.. I suggest you look beyond the surface and see if you want the negatives that go along with that "perfect" relationship.. Because believe me they are there and yes, they can be some doozies.. 

I have been thinking of my absolutely PERFECT daughters and this came to mind.. I hope you all are as blessed with your daughters (yes and mothers) as I am with mine

Shauni