Rember, At Thanksgiving?

Word Girl comes home tomorrow.. oh yeah.. yippy skippy... remember how excited I got when she was coming home for Thanksgiving? How much I was looking forward to it? Well, I am so over that... 

When she came home, there was so much bickering and negative comments that I completely tensed up. Migraines were back in abundance.. and finally, the day before she left.. we were walking in Union Station from the Amtrak train to the Metra.. and I literally popped a muscle.. I was in pain for THREE weeks... and it has just now finally gotten so it doesn't hurt.. 

The amazing thing was.. I hadn't understood how seriously negative the dynamics were when she is home.. I was a nag pure and simple.. and when I would ask her not to do something she would respond with you always.... the thing is.. I don't always.. This past year I have realized, that I rarely... 

It bothers me that this child, whom I adore makes me that tense and angry... it's like dealing w/my mother.. except because it's my mother she gets to win... The part that sucks.. is Word Girl doesn't follow the same rules.. I should get to win.. I am the mother.. it doesn't matter if she agrees with me, she should still go along with my rules and my thinking with a smile on her face darn it.. It's not like she is going to LIVE in this household anymore.. She is a guest!!

Ok, rant over.. The good news is.. she is off to visit Grandma on Christmas day.. so I only have a week or so and then things are back to normal!! AND she will be in heaven because the two of them get along like gangbusters.. *grins* of course I get a benefit out of it as well, cuz if she mouths off about me.. My MOM will totally kick her a$$.. hey, hierarchy works somewhere...

Doing It Right

As half of my teenagers no longer qualify to be called such, I have to take the time and really think. Did I do ok? Are they going to be able to follow their dreams? And if those dreams don't pan out do they have the perseverance to find a new one?

An interesting thought. I know Hair Boy in his own meandering way has slowly circled back to what he wanted and is back on path to becoming what he wanted to be. I was worried for a bit because I knew his choices were wrong, I saw him making my same mistakes and I just grimaced. But, I offered him time and space to get it together and now he is off, soaring working on his education and confident in what he is doing.

Pita Boy, right now he is the one I worry about. He has such big dreams but no push to go for them. He keeps wanting me to do them for him. I can't He needs to step up and do something instead of just dreaming all the time. I am on the verge of pushing him out the door and that scares me because that was done to me and it was the wrong time to do so. I am looking at one more way to help him get going but I think it may be the last time. He may need to be pushed out of the nest so he can fly. I know he CAN fly, he is just so afraid to try.

Word Girl, well she just knows what is best about everything... She knows where she wants to go, she knows how she is going to get there and she thinks she is so far beyond us. She seems to forget all the little things that the family provides for her and how little is asked of her. But she will learn that lesson as she gets out on her own. I mean if she does it all herself and falls flat on her face because she relies on support that is no longer there, she will either learn to do things or not. Either way she will have her choices to make.

Blond Girl, she is just getting there, just starting those last few years of high school, where social is way more important than

Of course she will, as will Hair Boy they have the benefit of what society says are good looks, charm and charisma.. Pita Boy is one of the hardest workers I know all he needs is to find the right direction and he will fly and Word Girl, well she has it in her to convince the world to do it her way. Honestly I think the girl should be in fundraising rather than marine biology but what do I know.

Oh well, just a few more weeks until Word Girl Graduates..

Watching the Dandelions Grow

Raising your children in a small town has several benefits but the biggest has to be the fact that they are instilled with a wonderful sense of who and what they are. Over the years we have moved several times and been without on various occasions but the one constant I have always been able to give them was the fact that they belonged..

When Hair Boy was hit by a car and left on the side of the road the entire community was there. Ready to help making sure I had all the support I could ever need. When Blond Girl (at 5) decided she wanted cheese crackers and threatened to wander off to get them on her own.. I had baby sitters, scout leaders and the police looking for her. When Pita Boy was in his accident, it was called in by a good friend's parents.. he was hit by the parents of his middle school gym teacher (whose son was in my cub scout troop as a child) and the policeman called to the scene was the father of a friend (sounds almost incestuous I know). And when Word girl applied to go to Marine Biology camp through Girl Scouts the Library Director wrote the recommendation.

All in all it has been a wonderful place to raise my kids.. tonight I went to see the spring musical.. now as far as I was concerned the lead was a girl I have known since birth.. her brother and Hair Boy have been best friends since the ripe old age of 6 months.. When Hair Boy and Hair Boy II were fourish riding in HBII's motorized car and were attacked by a bug it was Danielle who was maybe 2. who stepped in and saved the boys from that mean old bug...

Another of the leads was a young man who I will forever see as Brad's little blond brother (another of my cub scouts). It is great to have been able to watch these children grow up.. to see them become wonderful and witty and clever individuals.. all in all I have been fortunate to know them and to watch them grow.. so thank you all.. I am so very proud of the individuals you have become..

Respecting the Individual

I have raised four unique and wonderful individuals... they are creative and bright, clever and talented... They are amazing.. of course they are teenagers which means they are moody, broody and annoying.. They fight me on every step they are supposed to...

But I worry, they are so independent and self sufficient I worry sometimes that they just forget what family means... that family first and always comes first. Last night Pita Boy pushed me over the edge.. and Word Girl came to the rescue (his not mine) so I guess right now I am doing something right....

Blond Girl has decided that next year she wants to audition for dance force at school. Now I wouldnt mind this except she seems to think that the activities are the important thing and she can get through life on her looks alone.. I know it sucks to be beautiful..

Actually I was watching the apprentice last night and Brandi was asked was about the difficulties of being blond and beautiful.. did she think it made it harder for her or easier.. It was interesting because she said it was never a problem. I seriously find that hard to believe... I watch my beautiful brilliant daughter fall back on her looks time and time again... and it hurts me, the child is BRILLIANT.. scary smart and yet she limits herself constantly.. Needless to say dance force is going to be a bargaining chip.. anything less than a B from here on out and she is gone.. and those B's she can only get an occasional one not settle for them...

Guess it sucks to be her...