Revenge is Sweet if not a bit annoying

Yesterday my mom sent Word Girl her "jar money". This was a fun thing my mom started when Hair Boy was younger. She would save all of her change from her estate sales and then give him half and my sister half whenever he came to visit. He could spend it all, take home whatever was left or give the extra to her and she would match it in a savings account. Over the years the parameters had changed. It stopped being for just the grandchild visiting but became divided up between all the grandkids every summer, then finally it was she just deposited that money in their accounts and they would receive it upon graduation from HS.

Well Word Girl needed a few things for graduation and she argued, since she had already turned 18 could grandma send it now. They discussed it and grandma agreed. Yesterday the money came and off Word Girl and I went to Best Buy.. to purchase a laptop and a new camera.

Since we do not have a car and her friends were working we took a cab.. at her expense of course. I basically took myself and my id.. We arrived and everything was fine. She purchased a beautiful computer just a bit more expensive than her original idea but that was ok. Then we were off to the cameras.. she leans towards Canons and since I have never used a Canon I didn't love I tend to agree. Well Canon had this wonderful orange camera (orange is her favorite color) right at the edge of her price range. Of course she wanted to purchase it... Now here comes the problem. Because this was an unusual purchase the fraud dept at her bank froze her account and she could not buy the camera.. We called the bank (did I mention we also both left our cell phones at home?) from the store phone. They were gracious enough to allow us to use it. I was told the problem and put on hold for the fraud dept, initially I was told it would be 5-7 minutes.

At about 15 minutes she started begging me to hang up... she gets embarrassed easily and she was sure everyone was starting to stare. I managed to drag it out for another 10 but finally I gave in to her pleas and hung up. BAD CHOICE.. I called the cab and we waited for our pick up... OOOPS.. did I mention they froze her account and I had run out without my wallet? So now we are stranded at Best Buy and the girl was too embarrassed to go back in and use their phone so we walked to WalMart.. well they let us use the phone but only local area code land lines.. that meant we could not get a hold of anyone. I mean who remembers phone numbers anymore? Especially home ones... Finally we got through to a friend and he came and picked us up.

While she was all disgruntled about what the bank did and kept calling it stupid even though I explained why they did it as soon as we got in the car and I told the entire story our friend said.. oh exactly what thieves would go for.. so she shut up about that. I am proud to say I have only mentioned half a dozen times that had she let me stay on the phone, she would have had her camera and we would have had a ride home. I love being right.. even if it is an inconvenience

Wind Down to Graduation

Time is growing short and Word Girl is gearing up for graduation. It is hard to believe that this child of mine will be graduating from High School in three weeks. Yes three weeks. May 23, 2010. Sometimes I just feel old.

But all the exciting things are starting to happen, awards banquets, prom, senior breakfast and of course the all important graduation party. Word Girl will be having an afternoon party over labor day weekend. Since we don't have a lot of room we will be having the party at a local park. I am just hoping for a cool weekend. Here in the Chicago land area Memorial Day can be cool, muggy, hot, rainy... we never know.

Word Girl is the original I can do it all by myself girl. Coming as she did after two older brothers and yet being very close in age, the three of them are barely 3 years apart.. 20 months each, she tended to tomboyish behaviour. While we did have the request tea parties and such it was just as likely that she could be found climbing on the top of the RV (at 2) with her older brothers.

My favorite story about Word Girl is when she was learning to ride a bike. She was just three and she wanted those training wheels off. Both of her brothers could ride without so she should be able to as well. I agreed to let her try and took of the training wheels. All prepared to hold the bike and run behind her as I did for her brothers but no.. she looked up at me all earnest blue eyes (she claims they are green) and said "no mommy I can do it all by myself". Sure enough she learned. That was on Friday, on Saturday we all rode our bikes into town, I had her sister sitting in the baby seat (so believe me I was glad she was riding on her own since before that I had Blond Girl in the baby snugly and Word Girl in the child seat.. it was work), and the three of them rode along side me. It was a couple of miles. We went to a pool party and had a blast I was soooo proud. The problem came on the way home..This poor baby was so exhausted there was no way she was going to be able to ride her bike home. We had to have a friend throw our bikes in the back of the truck and drive us home. Where I carried this poor exhausted child up the stairs and put her to bed.

It was a long day but she definitely did it all by herself. I am going to miss that determined little girl, I already do.


PS.. just in case there was any doubt she's the crazy one on the left Hair Boy is the crazy one on the right.. Since he was her first influence I decided to include him in this blog.

Doing It Right

As half of my teenagers no longer qualify to be called such, I have to take the time and really think. Did I do ok? Are they going to be able to follow their dreams? And if those dreams don't pan out do they have the perseverance to find a new one?

An interesting thought. I know Hair Boy in his own meandering way has slowly circled back to what he wanted and is back on path to becoming what he wanted to be. I was worried for a bit because I knew his choices were wrong, I saw him making my same mistakes and I just grimaced. But, I offered him time and space to get it together and now he is off, soaring working on his education and confident in what he is doing.

Pita Boy, right now he is the one I worry about. He has such big dreams but no push to go for them. He keeps wanting me to do them for him. I can't He needs to step up and do something instead of just dreaming all the time. I am on the verge of pushing him out the door and that scares me because that was done to me and it was the wrong time to do so. I am looking at one more way to help him get going but I think it may be the last time. He may need to be pushed out of the nest so he can fly. I know he CAN fly, he is just so afraid to try.

Word Girl, well she just knows what is best about everything... She knows where she wants to go, she knows how she is going to get there and she thinks she is so far beyond us. She seems to forget all the little things that the family provides for her and how little is asked of her. But she will learn that lesson as she gets out on her own. I mean if she does it all herself and falls flat on her face because she relies on support that is no longer there, she will either learn to do things or not. Either way she will have her choices to make.

Blond Girl, she is just getting there, just starting those last few years of high school, where social is way more important than

Of course she will, as will Hair Boy they have the benefit of what society says are good looks, charm and charisma.. Pita Boy is one of the hardest workers I know all he needs is to find the right direction and he will fly and Word Girl, well she has it in her to convince the world to do it her way. Honestly I think the girl should be in fundraising rather than marine biology but what do I know.

Oh well, just a few more weeks until Word Girl Graduates..

An Interesting Conversation

Word Girl is getting closer and closer to graduation. She is the one who will fly the nest and I may not see her for a while. Hair Boy has that oldest son complex he is gonna feel the need to take care of me whether I need it or not. Pita Boy, well... seriously though he has a strong need for family connections and I may end up hanging up on him way before he hangs up on me. Blond Girl, she and I have a good relationship and do a lot of the mom/daughter things. We enjoy a lot of the same things and have a pretty good bond. But Word Girl right now she wants to get as far away from me as fast as she can. She sees all of my faults very very clearly, oh eventually that will fade but for now she holds a pretty big mirror to my faults constantly pointing them out.

Consequently having a conversation where I didn't do something wrong is amazing. The other day we were talking about her graduation. I told her that I would mail her father's graduation ticket and announcement to him as I had no desire to speak to him at this time. Please understand I have spent many many years not only not badmouthing him but protecting him. Oh not in the physical way rather protecting his relationship with his children. Making it so they accept him and are not angry at him. That they don't hate him and can have some sort of a relationship with him. He on the other hand.... Recently I have stopped doing that, I have been telling my children three of which are now officially adults some of the realities of our "relationship". Hence the reason I pointed out that I had no desire to speak to him.

Word Girl was ok with that but I then said that I wasn't inviting him to her party and was not going to mention the after graduation lunch we were having. She was a little bothered by that. She wanted him to come to the lunch... If the man actually comes to graduation and then asks what we are doing after he will of course be welcome, I am just not going to tell him about it. I explained that to Word Girl, I also pointed out that I have not and will not ever embarrass her like that. I will never put her in a spot where she feels she has to exclude her father. I will also never bring a battle out into public that could escalate and cause a scene. I never have and face it I have spent way to many years making sure they have a relationship to have any desire to ruin it now. After I told her this she looked up from the computer, kind of stared at me quizzically and said.. "Thanks" then went about her business.

Now that may not seem like much to you but this was monumental, she was thanking me for any number of reasons but she was also acknowledging what I have spent her entire lifetime doing. In one word she validated all of my choices at least regarding him. And believe me that is just what she intended. At that moment I was so proud of my contrary girl

It is Really Fun

My youngest daughter (blond girl - featured prominantly in the picture on the left) has a really neat group of friends. The core group is about 7 then of course each of them has individual friends that they drag kicking and screaming into the middle of things. These kids find a reason to celebrate on a regular basis. They are in band and choir and honors programs. They go to church together, they do musicals and recitals together and often they include the parents. Now I was raised that a mom should be a mom not a friend and that is pretty much how I set the tone with the other three. With blond girl that has just not been allowed consequently I have made some really really good friends along the way.

Anyway Blond girl and her group has decided that one of the things that they need to celebrate are birthdays, they are coming up on their sweet 16's and many have actually hit this mark, but each party is a celebration. Blond Girl's best friend commonly referred to as my 3rd daughter had a party last month and it was semi formal.. no jeans. It was great to see all these kids dressed to the 9's for a party. Dancing and goofing around, socializing and just looking great.. I hope they continue with this trend it teaches them so much. and face it today there is rarely an excuse to dress up and look good, I mean they wear jeans to church and the theatre, both places where I was taught to dress appropriately for.

The reason it is so great to see them dress up, besides the fact that they all just look great, is because it teaches them that they matter. That dressing nice can be just as fun as looking dowdy. I am so glad these kids are doing this and I hope they continue.

I Don't Know is at it Again

One would think as they age, I don't know and No One would grow up and leave the house... sadly they seem to be lingering in my household. The beasties are 21, 20, 18 and 15 now surely old enough for accountability.

Blond Girl got this really cute dress for a winter dance that was cancelled, so she placed it on the hanger and left it for another day. The dress itself only cost me 32.50 so it was a deal to say the least. The other day she noticed it was missing and she was a bit worried, she had a semi formal party to attend this weekend and she figured that the dress would be perfect. She tore the place apart finally finding it on a shelf ABOVE the closet and under some unused items, while still on it's hanger. Clearly someone had hidden it there. Now she wasn't worried cuz she found it but decided to go try it on. That is when the crises began.

The dress has one of those wonderful hidden side zippers, unfortunately the zipper had been opened from the bottom up and we were unable to fix it. Later that evening in a very nice and non judgemental manner I asked Word Girl and Pita Boy if they had touched it (Hair Boy has moved out) of course neither of them knew a darned thing. I know I didn't touch it and Blond Girl was in tears over it so we knew she didn't touch it either. Chalk it down to I Don't Know.. BUT Word Girl and Pita Boy are splitting the 30.00 cost of fixing the zipper since neither will cop to breaking it.

It does irk me though that the darned zipper is gonna cost me almost as much as the dress did originally and she has never worn it!!!

Word Girl is Going to Western!!

YAY!!! it is official.. well so she says but Word Girl is going to Western Illinois University..

GO LEATHERNECKS