Great Picture of Blond Girl

Now, she is away at college, learning all sorts of new stuff.. I promise.. But she is also making friends and doing things like going camping..

One of her friends shot this picture and I think it is just AWESOME..

Seriously a great shot!!

Happy Birthday Blond Girl

Wasn't she the cutest thing? I know I am a day late but I had to write this anyway.. Nineteen years ago yesterday my world changed Ok.. it changed in the fall when I realized I was pregnant with my fourth child.. My totally unplanned fourth child.

I was finished.. the bottles were out of the house, my baby was out of diapers.. life was good.. and then life changed! I had many people share their opinions on what I should do.. how I should react and even if I should even have this child.. *rolls eyes* seriously there were those who thought my life would be better without another child, if not better then easier. 

It might have been but no way could I have ever have made that choice! Blond Girl was a stubborn determined child straight from conception.. I knew she would be big so they decided to induce labor.. this child over 10lbs turned at the last minute and we weren't able to induce (For the record big babies don't usually turn). Then we realized that she was going to be really big so the doctor said on a Friday.. we will just do a C-section on Monday.. yeah right.. this child was coming on her own terms.. That's right Saturday morning comes along and I am in serious labor..  Of course I still had the C-section.. just got to enjoy the labor pains that went along with it..

This child was my absolute easiest.. she knew what she wanted.. but had no problem going with the flow. Choices were easy with her because she enjoys life.. She was a beautiful child inside and out and over a lifetime she has only grown in her beauty. 

She is studying at the University of Wyoming now and it's hard to believe that those years are all gone.. Of course she may no longer be a baby but she will always be MY baby.. 

Love ya sweetie..

Mom

** Oh yeah she is my only actual teen left.. and I only have 364 more days before I won't have any teenagers! My children will all be twenty somethings!

Watching the Dandelions Grow

It's been an amazing journey but the time has come to admit that my children are all adults.. No longer is it my job to sit out in the rain on cold spring evenings to watch a painful baseball game.. No longer am I supposed to sit hour after hour watching swim meets.. No more choir or band concerts, no more spring musicals.. not more guiding their hands.. Now I get to be mom.. Not the mom they seem to want (because I am on my own journey) but the mom they have and yes, the mom they love. 

What I do want to say right now is thank you.. There are a handful of people who were there for my children.. Who parented them when I was struggling.. who offered a shoulder to cry on or an example of what a parent could be. Oh I don't think I was a bad mom.. I have healthy happy creative young adults as children.. and all are functioning well in society.. They will go as far as their dreams and drive can take them. But...

My first couple of people I want to thank are the Smirats.. We met this family when Hair Boy was 6months old. They too had a son the same age and these two were destined to become the best of friends. They were such great friends with such creative wits that the Highs School actually created a policy about keeping best friends out of the same class as much as possible. That's what you get when you have two young men who can finish each other's thoughts.. pretty scary when the rest of us can't. But this isn't about them. This is about their parents. Marwan is an amazing man who offered my son a father figure. Who took him golfing, who spoke Arabic to him (not enough darn it). Who was showed him what a father was supposed to be. Charlotte was even more of an influence. This amazing woman was there for my son in a million different ways. She loved him as much as her own children, she made sure he was happy and she understood his broody moodiness.. and loved him anyway. I can not even begin to imagine what Hair Boy's life would have been like had they not been a part of it.

The next family is the Tymecs.. What The Smirats were to Hair Boy the Tymecs were to PITA Boy and then some. When we first found ourselves living in a hotel, the Tymecs took PITA Boy in. Gave him his own space and showed him what family could be. In short they loved him. When Hair Boy was in his accident and I could not be located (I was on a girls scout trip) Judy stepped in and pretended to be me, making sure she had all the information and was ready to give permission for medical procedures.. but they found me first and she didn't have to. She and Steve moved on a few years ago.. but PITA Boy is trying to find his way as an adult.. and low and behold these amazing people have stepped up once again and are offering him a chance to get his feet set.. A Chance to become something... 

Then there are the Garcias.. Word Girl met Diana in the 6th grade (ok, I met Diana while they were in the 6th grade).. but these two soon became constant companions.. Her family, an immigrant Hispanic family took Word Girl in like a second daughter. When they found out that she was taking spanish they asked if it was ok if they spoke spanish to her.. HECK YEAH.. it  is partially because of them that Word Girl now has a minor in Spanish!! When we moved into a hotel AGAIN.. they opened their home to her and made her a very real part of their family.

And Finally.. There are the Kerns.. A Mother and daughter duo who changed our lives.. The girls met in kindergarden and became good friends.. SO good that when I went to California for Christmas (sort of.. I left in the afternoon) the Kerns took in Blond Girl.. I dropped my 5 year old daughter off at their house on Christmas day!! WOW.. over the years the two connected through Scouts but in Middle School they were together again.. their friendship growing.. At the end of 8th grade, when we were headed back to the hotel.. The Kern woman took in Word Girl and never really gave her back. They bought her clothes, paid for school trips, gave her lunches or money for lunches (and this was after she moved back home) They became family to all of us. Never forgetting us at Christmas or on Birthdays.. ALL OF US..

You can not buy the kind of support these people gave me.. This wasn't the family that I was born with.. this was the family that my children created.. I was so amazing blessed to have these people stand at my side to watch my dandelions grow!

Shauni

I have the Most Amazing Daughters

I woke up today to two posts on facebook that made me cry!! Both of my girls shared a happy father's day post.. to me!! As a single mom who willingly sacrificed everything to make sure they would be happy and well adjusted. That they would live rich and fulfilled lives for them to make such an acknowledgement made my heart sing!!

From Word Girl: Happy Father's Day mom, you did a good job thanks for takin on two jobs.

From Blond Girl: Happy Father's Day Mom. Your kids are awesome, so you must have done a good job.








And they say parents are never rewarded!  

Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters.. This has to be the single most unique bond in your life. More so than Fathers and Sons.. This of course being said by a Mother and Daughter.. *grins*

The dynamics of a female/female relationship can be loving, argumentative  supportive, critical, encouraging, discouraging and powerful.. most of them at the same time. It is the epidamy of the love/hate relationship. Most of us seriously NEVER want to be like our mothers (no matter how good of a job they did raising us) but as soon as we grow up, it's our Mother's voice coming out of our mouths.

What we learn from our mothers...

Positive:

1. We learn that we can do anything we want
2. We learn that we are the power in the home
3. We learn that our brains have to be used on a regular basis
4. We learn that our Grandma is perfect
5. We learn that there will always be someone there who loves you unconditionally
6. We learn how to stack the dishes, fold the towels, fold the laundry a specific way
7. We learn life lessons through daily exposure (my mother taught us fractions through cooking)

Negatives:

1. We learn that not only can we do anything we want, most of the time we will have to do everything
2. We learn that sometimes it's easier to control others than to work with them
3. We learn that sometimes we have to hide our intelligence to make sure others feel secure
4. We learn that sometimes we can control those we love with guilt..
5. We learn that constructive criticism is still criticism
6. We learn that sometimes it's easier to give in and avoid a fight rather than following our dreams    

Mothers aren't perfect.. and each relationship is different.. Not just the ones we have with other mothers and daughters but those we have in our own households.. 

My mother and sister have a great relationship, they can spend time together, do things together.. My sister goes home every summer and my mom visits her frequently.. me not so much.. Our relationship is just as good, just as strong.. but it works best when we only talk when she calls me (usually every couple of months because she realizes we haven't spoken recently) I know that sounds horrid.. but it's not.. because of this we have a strong bond, can have pleasant conversations and I can usually hang up politely... *grins* 

My daughters and I both have unique relationships as well.. 

• Word Girl and I bicker, fight and struggle for control.. oh this didn't start when she went away to college, nope I think she was TWO.. honestly, this girl may be a snuggler and a sweetie but she needs to be in charge.. *rolls eyes* and we frequently but heads about this. There are times when she tries roll reversal.. my personal favorite was when she was in HS and looked at me and said "You know, Mom, I don't like your tone" Seriously? Still makes me laugh.. Believe me I responded appropriately and she never made that comment again.. 
• Blond Girl and I have a more soothing relationship. She doesn't have that need for control, probably because she spent her life growing up around Word Girl and myself.. But honestly she and I have spent time together, outings, we read similar books, we discuss things and most often we don't but heads.. does this make my relationship better? Stronger? nah.. it just is what it is.. 

I adore both of my girls and am so incredibly proud of them.. I can not wait to see what kind of mothers they turn out to be.. I have an idea but I could be way off base.

I know I am so very proud of my mother and the woman she is.. I know because of her I

1. Love to Read
2. Love the beach
3. Have a curious mind
4. Believe that I can be anything I want (as long as it's her idea and she approves *grins)
5. Believe That no one and I mean no one is better than anyone else
6. Am tolerant 
7. Am the woman I am right now...

Watching other mothers and daughters sometimes we yearn for what they have.. DON'T.. I suggest you look beyond the surface and see if you want the negatives that go along with that "perfect" relationship.. Because believe me they are there and yes, they can be some doozies.. 

I have been thinking of my absolutely PERFECT daughters and this came to mind.. I hope you all are as blessed with your daughters (yes and mothers) as I am with mine

Shauni

Thinking of Blond Girl

Saw this on Yahoo today.. made me think of my girl!!  

GO COWBOYS!!

A Wonderful Thing

One of the most wonderful things a parent ever achieves is having a conversation with their child that shows their growth, maturity and yes independence.

I was speaking with Blond Girl today and felt such pride, such joy in her. I was astounded at her wisdom, her voice. She is turning into a fantastic young woman.

I shared with her something I wrote on shaunispeaks and she articulated in a non judgmental way that said, I see your point but I don't agree.. It was beautifully done. Then as our conversation continued and she saw my response to what others said and how I was choosing to handle it, she complimented me. Still not ever agreeing with me, just never condemning. If she can take that gift into the  world with her she will have an amazing life!

I found myself listening to her opinion and advice while I was able to offer her some as well. A true conversation with another woman.. yeah made me tear up a bit. I am so very proud of her

Merry Christmas to All

Saying Goodbye to Blond Girl

So Blond girl was off to college last week. We packed up our car and went on a road trip.. First a 15 hour drive to S. Dakota where we did the monuments.. then down to the Univ of WY.. where we moved her in... we had a blast but poor blond girl had to sit in the smallest space ever..

This was not an exaggeration.. our little car was stuffed to the rafters.. but we made it with all of her stuff.

18 and a Tattoo

Blond Girl had a birthday today.. Yes the last of my babies is now a grown up.. and as a right of passage she wandered off to the local tattoo shop and got her first tattoo.. hopefully this has fulfilled her needs and she will never want another one..

It was a fun story, she and a couple of friends left for the tattoo parlor that had been recommended to them.. They said the guy was so high it was ridiculous..She said she could smell him and his pupils were so dilated that she couldn't even see any color.

Then the lovely gentlemen was rude to her.. said she couldn't have it on her wrist.. that it would look stupid as an anklet and the only place she could get it done was on her shoulder blade.. Then she had an id issue.. So she called me..

I called Word Girl who told me the name of the place where she got hers. Then I called them.. they were lovely.. and had a way to work with my id instead.. So the gang all came by and picked me up. Off to the tattoo parlor..

This place was a rather interesting it looked more like a hair salon than a tattoo parlor. Very upscale.. The guys working there were great, they talked her through everything.. and if you will notice, there it is right on her wrist where she wanted it... Oh and the best part about the other place.. they spelled Lamentations wrong..

If one has to have a tattoo.. this was a wonderful.. made ,e consider getting one.. except that unlike my children, I am afraid of my mom.. and she said no tattoos!

Last Home Swim Meet

There is a tradition here in town where the 15&Over Boys dress up as girls for the last relay of the season. A Few years ago the girls got tired of the boys getting all of the attention. Since this was Blond Girl's last home relay she was in on it.. here they are

I know I have shared pictures of Blond Girl before.. can you figure out which one is her?

Blond Girl Goes to Prom

Count down to Graduation.. The baby is bailing on me! That's right one more step to saying goodbye.. She had her Senior Prom over the weekend and she was stunning!!

A good friend's family arranged for them to go to prom, then off to spend the night downtown and Tea and The Drake.. What lovely people..

The Girls before Prom

The Girls Downtown

 

 

Disappointing My Baby

Today I got some bad news that I have yet to impart to Blond Girl.. She was supposed to go away with church to North Carolina tomorrow. She was very very excited and has been getting things ready.

I got a phone call today that told me because of her history (she had a health scare at camp last summer) that they do not feel comfortable allowing her to go. She is going to be heartbroken.. 

The thing that makes me angry is I started this ball rolling.. I sent an email explaining what they should do if she should have an incident. Which hasn't happened since the New Year.. Then I received the phone call. So by my being proactive.. about something that probably won't happen they are not going to let her go.. 

I understand where they are coming from but I am just ANGRY..

Blond Girl Points Out the Obvious

With all the talk of the World Ending in 2012, Blond Girl made a very accurate point. Umm hello, The Mayans did not celebrate Leap Day.. that means that every four years for what 5000 years, a day was not accounted for. Very interesting.. To take her point even further she did the actual math, which I of course do not have.. Anyway her point being, if we were really going by the Mayan Calender 12, 21, 2012 would have come 7 plus months ago.. Ooops the world has already ended and we just don't know it.

I love it when our kids have more common sense than we do!! Of course Earth could be hit by a meteor tomorrow.. We have no clue and counting on an ancient calendar to determine the end of the world is pretty stupid. It's like listening to the quasi predictions of Nostradamus.. Sure it COULD happen but it's not a sign. Now if I am wrong and the world does end on 12, 21, 2012 I  give you all permission to send a letter of complaint..

Shauni

Blond Girl and Tolkien Cloaks..

I was telling a blond girl, about a conversation I had with Author Jessa Slade, about laundry of all things.. The conversation went from my insanely obsessive laundry habits to her writing a post on dressing a character. I pointed out that it would be a really interesting post because so many authors go overboard in the clothing description department..

At this point in the story it, gets interesting..

Me: Some authors go on and on about designers and frills and...


Blond Girl: *cough* JRR Tolkien *cough* 


 Me: JRR Tolkien? (I was astounded..how dare she? She was raised on Tolkien she knows he can do no wrong)

Blond Girl: Mom FOUR pages on describing a cloak.. FOUR pages (she was warming up now)

Me: Seriously?

Blond Girl: Mom, it borders on Grapes of Wrath Bad...

Me: Dumbfounded stare.. Grapes of Wrath Bad? (For those that don't know Grapes of Wrath is my least favorite book in the entire world.. I hate Steinbeck's need to take four chapters to describe in minute detail, the DUST BOWL.. no dialog, just excruciating detail about dust)


Blond Girl: Ok, maybe not as bad.. but you get the point..

When I finished rolling my eyes and trying to out argue her.. I was quite proud.. My girl could discuss the Grapes of Wrath and Lord of the Rings in One conversation..

No School Again and Again and Again

Today was what Blond Girl's school calls a 12:12 day..it's pretty self explanatory.. they get out of school at 12:12. This happens a few times a year and after 10 years I am almost used to it. They have all their regular classes except 0 hour, it's gym and not worth the time for her to go to school early for a 20 min gym class.

Now 12:12 day wouldn't be bad if they didn't also get tomorrow off.. Yep some sort of teacher institute day.. then Monday because it's Casimir Polaski day *rolls eyes*.. so a 4 and a half day weekend.. Again wouldn't be so bad had they not just gotten presidents day off.. then two weeks before that, Martin Luther King Day.. yep from mid January to mid March they pretty much get every other Monday off.. PLUS a 12:12 day and a Friday or two tossed in..

Oh yeah.. did I mention that EVERY Thursday is an early dismissal day? They get off an hour early? I know teachers work hard, that they are expected to perform miracles and they need time to plan. I know that many of these early dismissal days they spend in meetings and classes.. but it is just so frustrating.. and frustrating is the theme for today it seems.

Hunger Games Trailer

The Hunger Games is one of Blond Girl's favorite books and we are really looking forward to the movie.. Just thought I would share a trailer with you

Blond Girl at Spaghetti and a Song

Every year our local HS choir has a fundraiser  called spaghetti and a song. It's tough.. they not only are performing but often to a disinterested audience, bad mic and all sorts of other issues!! Blond Girl sang her first ever pop song. I voted for a torch song cuz she totally belts those out but she wanted this one..

Blond Girl Makes the Play!!

Blond Girl's High School is putting on a production of Chicago.. she very much wanted to make this play.. She had hopes of being in the Jail house Tango, although we both liked different parts..

Auditions were all last week and the announcement was posted on Friday..
I got a text.. said she was in the chorus and a reporter which meant she had LINES.. she is too cute.. the girl is ecstatic because she managed to get four whole lines..

5th Child, got basically the same parts.. so we get to watch them together.. and I am excited because the boys in our lives (not the related ones) got the appropriate parts.. the ones that best suited them.. although, I still think Blond Girl's best friend deserved the Billy Flynn role..

The play is late April.. so I am sure there will be lots of exciting things going on..

It Seems So Weird

Just a few short years ago, every single moment of my day was filled with the antics of my children.. I could wax on forever about the insane and silly things that they did.. And when I wasn't talking about them I was either with them or doing something for them. Even at work, stories of them filled my working hours..

As they get older and for the most part out of my life.. I have many empty moments.. Ok, not empty that implies that there is nothing there to fill it. Oh there is, I have lots of fun stuff going on and have plans for even more.. but I do sometimes miss those days where I never had any time to myself.

Hair Boy is an amazing young man, caught up in his music and his life.. going forward with such plans.. remember those days? Poised to soar?

PITA Boy, has plans upon plans but has yet to solidify any of them.. I know he will fly once he gets out from under my too confining wing.. I don't mean to stifle but I think I do. I allow him to not soar.. there that sounds better than stifling.

Word Girl, well that one has always had a mind of her own.. as well as a plan and a way to get what she wants. I remember when she liked to cuddle but that was way back in the land before time.. Mostly I remember this amazingly strong of spirit young woman who could do it herself..

Blond Girl, she is there.. poised.. on the very brink of life.. Just a few more months and she will be off.. And yes I think she will be sticking with her first choice and going off to the University of Wyoming. She has considered all her options and just keeps circling back to Wyoming..

So very soon, it will be just me.. Scared? you bet!! But Excited as well!! It will be very hard juggling these individuals from a distance.. but I am just the mom to do it!