Looking to Make A Donation?

It's that time of the year when our hearts are full and we want to do something for our fellow man. Sometimes we are running around so much we don't know where to even look to make a great donation. Sure, I always drop my change in the Santa bucket but there has to be more.

 My oldest daughter attends Western Illinois University and she is part of an amazing fundraising project.

 "Dear Friends,

I hope you will consider supporting my participation in WIU Dance Marathon. All contributions will benefit and be divided among the Children's Miracle Network Hospitals of Greater St. Louis, St. Louis Children's Hospital and SSM Cardinal Glennon Children's Medical Center. Any contribution will help, and all donations are tax deductible.

I am on WIU's first E-Board as the Finance Chair, this money we raise doesn't just help the families financially but it helps lift some stress from these families and gives the kids a comfortable environment to be in, this event and organization is very dear to my heart, any amount will help me get to my goal by Feb 1st.

 Donating online is safe and easy! To make an online donation please click the "Support Me!" button on this page. Thank you for visiting my fundraising page! For The Kids!"

You can link to her fundraising page HERE.. this donation will go directly into a fund sponsored by WIU, not into my daughter's hands.. So if you are looking for a way to share your good fortune, give a thought to this noble cause..

 Shauni

Watching the Dandelions Grow

It's been an amazing journey but the time has come to admit that my children are all adults.. No longer is it my job to sit out in the rain on cold spring evenings to watch a painful baseball game.. No longer am I supposed to sit hour after hour watching swim meets.. No more choir or band concerts, no more spring musicals.. not more guiding their hands.. Now I get to be mom.. Not the mom they seem to want (because I am on my own journey) but the mom they have and yes, the mom they love. 

What I do want to say right now is thank you.. There are a handful of people who were there for my children.. Who parented them when I was struggling.. who offered a shoulder to cry on or an example of what a parent could be. Oh I don't think I was a bad mom.. I have healthy happy creative young adults as children.. and all are functioning well in society.. They will go as far as their dreams and drive can take them. But...

My first couple of people I want to thank are the Smirats.. We met this family when Hair Boy was 6months old. They too had a son the same age and these two were destined to become the best of friends. They were such great friends with such creative wits that the Highs School actually created a policy about keeping best friends out of the same class as much as possible. That's what you get when you have two young men who can finish each other's thoughts.. pretty scary when the rest of us can't. But this isn't about them. This is about their parents. Marwan is an amazing man who offered my son a father figure. Who took him golfing, who spoke Arabic to him (not enough darn it). Who was showed him what a father was supposed to be. Charlotte was even more of an influence. This amazing woman was there for my son in a million different ways. She loved him as much as her own children, she made sure he was happy and she understood his broody moodiness.. and loved him anyway. I can not even begin to imagine what Hair Boy's life would have been like had they not been a part of it.

The next family is the Tymecs.. What The Smirats were to Hair Boy the Tymecs were to PITA Boy and then some. When we first found ourselves living in a hotel, the Tymecs took PITA Boy in. Gave him his own space and showed him what family could be. In short they loved him. When Hair Boy was in his accident and I could not be located (I was on a girls scout trip) Judy stepped in and pretended to be me, making sure she had all the information and was ready to give permission for medical procedures.. but they found me first and she didn't have to. She and Steve moved on a few years ago.. but PITA Boy is trying to find his way as an adult.. and low and behold these amazing people have stepped up once again and are offering him a chance to get his feet set.. A Chance to become something... 

Then there are the Garcias.. Word Girl met Diana in the 6th grade (ok, I met Diana while they were in the 6th grade).. but these two soon became constant companions.. Her family, an immigrant Hispanic family took Word Girl in like a second daughter. When they found out that she was taking spanish they asked if it was ok if they spoke spanish to her.. HECK YEAH.. it  is partially because of them that Word Girl now has a minor in Spanish!! When we moved into a hotel AGAIN.. they opened their home to her and made her a very real part of their family.

And Finally.. There are the Kerns.. A Mother and daughter duo who changed our lives.. The girls met in kindergarden and became good friends.. SO good that when I went to California for Christmas (sort of.. I left in the afternoon) the Kerns took in Blond Girl.. I dropped my 5 year old daughter off at their house on Christmas day!! WOW.. over the years the two connected through Scouts but in Middle School they were together again.. their friendship growing.. At the end of 8th grade, when we were headed back to the hotel.. The Kern woman took in Word Girl and never really gave her back. They bought her clothes, paid for school trips, gave her lunches or money for lunches (and this was after she moved back home) They became family to all of us. Never forgetting us at Christmas or on Birthdays.. ALL OF US..

You can not buy the kind of support these people gave me.. This wasn't the family that I was born with.. this was the family that my children created.. I was so amazing blessed to have these people stand at my side to watch my dandelions grow!

Shauni

I have the Most Amazing Daughters

I woke up today to two posts on facebook that made me cry!! Both of my girls shared a happy father's day post.. to me!! As a single mom who willingly sacrificed everything to make sure they would be happy and well adjusted. That they would live rich and fulfilled lives for them to make such an acknowledgement made my heart sing!!

From Word Girl: Happy Father's Day mom, you did a good job thanks for takin on two jobs.

From Blond Girl: Happy Father's Day Mom. Your kids are awesome, so you must have done a good job.








And they say parents are never rewarded!  

Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters.. This has to be the single most unique bond in your life. More so than Fathers and Sons.. This of course being said by a Mother and Daughter.. *grins*

The dynamics of a female/female relationship can be loving, argumentative  supportive, critical, encouraging, discouraging and powerful.. most of them at the same time. It is the epidamy of the love/hate relationship. Most of us seriously NEVER want to be like our mothers (no matter how good of a job they did raising us) but as soon as we grow up, it's our Mother's voice coming out of our mouths.

What we learn from our mothers...

Positive:

1. We learn that we can do anything we want
2. We learn that we are the power in the home
3. We learn that our brains have to be used on a regular basis
4. We learn that our Grandma is perfect
5. We learn that there will always be someone there who loves you unconditionally
6. We learn how to stack the dishes, fold the towels, fold the laundry a specific way
7. We learn life lessons through daily exposure (my mother taught us fractions through cooking)

Negatives:

1. We learn that not only can we do anything we want, most of the time we will have to do everything
2. We learn that sometimes it's easier to control others than to work with them
3. We learn that sometimes we have to hide our intelligence to make sure others feel secure
4. We learn that sometimes we can control those we love with guilt..
5. We learn that constructive criticism is still criticism
6. We learn that sometimes it's easier to give in and avoid a fight rather than following our dreams    

Mothers aren't perfect.. and each relationship is different.. Not just the ones we have with other mothers and daughters but those we have in our own households.. 

My mother and sister have a great relationship, they can spend time together, do things together.. My sister goes home every summer and my mom visits her frequently.. me not so much.. Our relationship is just as good, just as strong.. but it works best when we only talk when she calls me (usually every couple of months because she realizes we haven't spoken recently) I know that sounds horrid.. but it's not.. because of this we have a strong bond, can have pleasant conversations and I can usually hang up politely... *grins* 

My daughters and I both have unique relationships as well.. 

• Word Girl and I bicker, fight and struggle for control.. oh this didn't start when she went away to college, nope I think she was TWO.. honestly, this girl may be a snuggler and a sweetie but she needs to be in charge.. *rolls eyes* and we frequently but heads about this. There are times when she tries roll reversal.. my personal favorite was when she was in HS and looked at me and said "You know, Mom, I don't like your tone" Seriously? Still makes me laugh.. Believe me I responded appropriately and she never made that comment again.. 
• Blond Girl and I have a more soothing relationship. She doesn't have that need for control, probably because she spent her life growing up around Word Girl and myself.. But honestly she and I have spent time together, outings, we read similar books, we discuss things and most often we don't but heads.. does this make my relationship better? Stronger? nah.. it just is what it is.. 

I adore both of my girls and am so incredibly proud of them.. I can not wait to see what kind of mothers they turn out to be.. I have an idea but I could be way off base.

I know I am so very proud of my mother and the woman she is.. I know because of her I

1. Love to Read
2. Love the beach
3. Have a curious mind
4. Believe that I can be anything I want (as long as it's her idea and she approves *grins)
5. Believe That no one and I mean no one is better than anyone else
6. Am tolerant 
7. Am the woman I am right now...

Watching other mothers and daughters sometimes we yearn for what they have.. DON'T.. I suggest you look beyond the surface and see if you want the negatives that go along with that "perfect" relationship.. Because believe me they are there and yes, they can be some doozies.. 

I have been thinking of my absolutely PERFECT daughters and this came to mind.. I hope you all are as blessed with your daughters (yes and mothers) as I am with mine

Shauni

A Mother Can Brag, Right?

My oldest daughter "Word Girl" Has spent her life in what she saw as the shadows. I saw this amazing girl who quietly led. Ok, not so quietly as she is named Word Girl for a reason but.. While others strove for the limelight my girl would go about her business and others would follow. When in the 6th grade she found herself odd girl out, she met new people and formed a group of friends that others envied. Never one to shut anyone out she made sure no one was excluded. When a "mean girl" yep we all know they exist, crashed the party and somehow she found herself on the outside looking in on her own group of friends.. she cried a bit but started over and slowly built a new group of friends.. eventually her real friends realized what a mistake they made and my girl, being who she was forgave them and accepted them all back as the true friend she is.. When this same girl crashed again, she too was accepted and forgiven. Of course when she broke my girls heart a second time, I made sure everyone knew. Word Girl might forgive her but she was never welcome in my presence again. Not in my house, my car or any group I was involved in. Sorry, I am not as nice as my girl.

She never considered herself a leader. Both Blond Girl and PITA Boy had band with her in HS and both would comment on how everyone respected her. How even though she didn't have a "title" she was the one who ran the band.. what Word Girl suggested is usually what happened. 

Of course my girl never knew that she lead. She saw herself as just a girl.. who wanted to make sure everyone was included and no one was bullied or picked upon. She defended kids who she felt needed it, up to and including those who were bullied by teachers.. she didn't accept that anyone had the "right" to pick on another. This of course often got her into trouble. 

She was never that sweet little barbie girl.. she always voiced her opinion and in her world..there was good and there was bad, there was right and there was wrong, there was black and there was right... this caused her problems as early as preschool activities.. because in her mind NO ONE was exempt.. Rules were rules.

As a kinder-gardener when her father and I split up.. she over heard the principal telling her teacher how allowances had to be made for this child who was acting up because the parents were divorced.. My girl looked up at the two of them and said.. "my parents split up and my mom would kick my butt if I acted like that.." Since neither the teacher nor principle knew of my split they were astounded. But in a way my girl said it all.. There are reasons but no excuses.. everyone should be expected to behave by the rules.

I say this because she amazes me.. 

Last week I got this link sent to me on Facebook http://myirha.com/Illinois_Residence_Hall_Association/IRHA_2013_files/WIU_13.pdf

With a note saying I couldn't share yet.. believe me this was the hardest thing I have ever done since I was so very, very proud of her!! But I kept my mouth shut.. She told me I could finally share it since she was awarded this award.. 

For those of you who don't have PDF.. I posted the basics below.. I Left out he Reference Letters AND I couldn't get the pictures from the PDF file.. 

“Slow and steady wins the race“

Carlene Verstraete Outstanding Service Award

IRHA 2013

“Slow and steady  wins the race“

“Frankie is truly a leader who works hard at everything she does. She puts aside her individual needs to always help  and assist others. She is 

what I call the producer behind the production of a success.“ 

-Cedricka Carver, Assistant Complex Director

“Frankie is a true example of a student leader. She inspires so many people to strive for their dreams regardless of how big they are. She is an inspiration to everyone that she comes in contact with.“

-Levi Campbell, NCC/ICC Inter-Hall Council

2010-2011 Freshman Year

Camp Leatherneck Attendee

Frankie started off her college career in a progressive way by attending Camp Leatherneck. This is a three day leadership retreat for incoming freshman who were looking to get involved on campus. That was exactly Frankie’s goal. Before the school year even officially commenced Frankie had the opportunity to interact with upperclassmen student leaders as well as 100 other incoming freshmen that had the same exact goal as her.  Even at Camp Leatherneck other student leaders and administrators began to see the leadership potential in Frankie, she was a shy girl who had tons of potential although she didn’t always see it in herself. 

Hall Government

Like any good student, Frankie got her start in hall government her freshman year. One ordinary Monday her RA stopped by her door and invited her to hall government and Frankie make the decision to attend the meeting and life hasn’t been the same since. Every Monday Frankie showed up and was always there to help and participate. The Executive Board knew they could always count on her face as a consistent support for the hall government as well as a knowledgeable voting member at any of the Legislation that came to the hall. Once again it was very apparent that Frankie was going to go on to big and amazing things.

Inter-Hall Council -Late Nights Chair

Also her freshman year Frankie decided to join in our Inter-Hall council; with that she was appointed the Late-Nights committee chair. The Late-Nights committee is a very important committee within Inter-Hall council because it does late night programming for students who want alternative ways to have fun outside of drinking and going out on our campus. It was a big deal that Frankie was the committee chair only as a freshman but nobody disputed it. The potential that Frankie showed even back at camp was now starting to blossom. With the help of her committee and two advisors Frankie 

successfully hosted numerous large-scale programming efforts for alternative nights out. These programs include, but are not limited to; Club Wetzel, Graffiti Dance Party, Insomniac Olympics, LateNight Bowling, and so many more.

“Ever since I have met Frankie, she has had the urge to get involved. She is involved in so many things on campus I can''''' not even count them all. Most people forget to recognize all of the work Frankie does at our school because she is not in a “higher up“ position. However, Frankie goes above and beyond in her duties and expectations on her committees because she is always willing to help other members, including the chair, with their tasks for the week. Frankie is thoroughly deserving of this award.“ 

-Katelyn Kott, Big Pink Volleyball Volunteer ChairGLACURH–bids -delegate (presented SALT)

It seems as if attending Hall Gov and being a part of InterHall Council would be enough for any normal leader’s plate, but Frankie was not a normal leader. Because she was such a quiet influence on campus she was able to 

juggle so much more than the average student.  So it comes as no surprise that she was also available to help out in our conference world as well. Frankie was selected to be a part of GLACURH delegation for the year 2010. 

On the delegation Frankie Immediately began about helping to create bids and spirit items. She was a part of the SALT Award presentation at the conference and she also excitedly attended many conference programs.  

Frankie was more than thrilled to bring the things that she learned at the regional conference back to campus. 

IRHA  -bids  -delegate/presenter

Because of Frankie’s dedicated, yet, subtle nature it came as no surprise that she was selected to attend the IRHA conference. Throughout the conference and conference prep, Frankie vigorously participated in the delegation as well as, helping to create and present bids at the conference. It is at IRHA 

that Frankie realized her love for not only residence halls, but student leadership within the residence halls and IRHA as well. Frankie 

showed the perfect example of true IRHA luv and she learned that love at the IRHA 2011 conference.

Top ten ways to start off with a bang your freshman year! 

• Stuff the bus

• Make a difference day ( sorted out Christmas lights for Wesley 

Village)

• Homecoming participant for Tanner Hall

• NACURH Delegate/Volunteer

• Summer Assistant

• Zoology Club 

• Students Today Leaders Forever

• Volunteer week ( flew kites with kids, Bingo at Wesley Village)

• Participated in Take Back the Night

• St. Baldrick’s Participant

“Frankie is the type of person who puts others needs before her own, she is the prime example of a leader. Frankie has shown outstanding service not only to our school but across the United States as a volunteer with the non profit organization Students Today Leaders Forever.... Frankie is a Leader Forever.“

     -Juan Guerrero, Regional Core STLFIHC Vice President

Her sophomore year Frankie decided to let her love show even more by joining the Inter-hall Council Executive Board as Vice President. As vice president she was in charge of all of the committees that functioned under Inter-hall Council. She held weekly one on ones with committee chairs and she gave them guidance on how to lead the committee and have effective programming. Frankie was especially useful because she was previously a committee chair and she knew exactly what they were going through. Under her reign as VP Frankie was able to accomplish so much with the committees including creating a brand-new committee and as well as restructuring already functioning committees.

IRHA

As you might imagine Frankie’s commitment did not stop there. Frankie also attended the IRHA conference for her sophomore year. As a part of the delegation Frankie helped us write numerous bids and was a key success to so many of our bids winning at the state level. Frankie is always the type of  person that will assist in recognizing others and often times she goes over looked  and unrecognized herself because of the type of phenomenal leader she is.

GLACURH and NACURH

Even though she couldn’t attend GLACURH 2011, Frankie helped us create bids and prepared the delegation for the conference. Frankie decided that she would not attend the conference and sacrificed her spot to an incoming student who hadn’t had the chance to attend GLACURH. This act was very 

commendable of Frankie and is all the more reason that she deserves an award such as this one. Her dedication did not go unrecognized though because Frankie was then selected to be a part of the NACURH 2012 delegation.

STLF

Frankie also realized her passion extended way past residence life and expanded to student leadership in general. She continued being a member of Students Today Leaders Forever (STLF) for the second year in a row, which is the alternative spring break trip that WIU participates in every year. Frankie was a very active member as she attended multiple tours including being guides for the Elgin High School and Denver K.I.P.P. schools as well as, 

attending the college tour. 

2011-2012 Sophomore Year 2012-2013 Junior Year

My Words Matter Committee

Frankie has always been the type of student that was more about getting things done. That is why it was perfectly in her character to be a part of a small group that initiated a program on campus entitled “My Words Matter.”  Within this program, a few Graduate students got together and recruited a few Undergraduates, Frankie being one of them, and hosted a Campus Wide 

program that urged students to be more aware of how words could be offensive or hurtful to certain groups of people. 

Second year, twice as big impact! 

Other things Frankie participated in this year was… 

• Zoology Club

• STLF

• Homecoming Secretary

• Stuff the Bus

• Traveled to Mizzou to cheer on WIU Football

• Bayliss and Henninger Hall Mud Volleyball 

• Thompson Hall’s Big Pink Volleyball participant

• LWG Hall Westerns Got Talent participant

• Camp Leatherneck Leader

• St. Baldrick’s participant

• Desk Assistant

• Summer Assistant

Inter-Hall Council- 

As a Junior, Frankie could have decided to take a break from all her student leadership activities but she chose not to. This year Frankie is still going strong as a part of Inter-Hall Council. She is a member of the Late-Nights Committee,  and she always offers her guidance and knowledge to the group whenever solicited. She attends IHC every Wednesday even though she is not required to do so.

IRHA Conference Staff

Frankie has a ridiculous amount of IRHA luv! So it should come as no surprise that she is a member of the IRHA 2013 conference staff. As the PR and 

Technology Chair, the team depends greatly on Frankie to maintain the website, Facebook page, and Twitter account. She is the pinnacle success 

to a lot of what we do with the conference group. Camp Leatherneck Leader

For the last two years, Frankie has been selected to be a Camp Leatherneck Leader. This is one of the most sought after leadership positions on campus 

and Frankie was fortunate enough to receive it because of her humble spirit and dedication to student leadership. Now as a Leatherneck Leader, 

she has the ability to provide opportunities to incoming freshmen the same opportunities she 

Third year and She’s still going strong was provided. 

• STLF Bus Core

• Stuff the bus

• Chi omega

• Variety Show Participant

• Bid Captain

• Desk assistant –captain

• Fundraising team for Conservation Trip to Peru

“Frankie does a wonderful job as the Desk Captain in Higgins. She is very friendly to all of the students and employees, but more importantly, she does a great job of completing tasks or implementing processes on her own, with little to no direction. She is an awesome leader and rarely asks for attention in the spotlight. Similarly, I supervised her over the summer when she was a Summer Assistant, and she provided a wealth of experience and knowledge to her fellow SAs, helping them work through issues. Frankie is very competent and knowledgeable, and she truly cares about others.“

      - Joe Nixon, Higgins Hall Complex Directo

Merry Christmas to All

A Chance of a Lifetime

Such an exciting opportunity! Word Girl has been given the opportunity to spend her summer in Peru. Yes Eight entire weeks discovering the mysteries of the rainforest! She will be traveling with Operation Wallacea






Where she will be PP101 Biodiversity Monitoring in the Pacaya Samiria National Reserve

Research Assistants on this project will be based on the research ship and will need to be prepared for the hot and humid conditions of the Amazonian rainforest. Whilst some respite can be found on the boat where the fan-cooled cabins, showers and food provide a retreat from the tough working conditions, the main reward is the opportunity to see and work with such a huge range of birds and animals, including the larger, and more rare, animals such as pumas, primates and tapirs.

 There is a large team of mainly Peruvian researchers based on the research ship with nine different research programmes running. Research Assistants signing up for the various projects will help on all the projects over the course of their stay. There is a strong research atmosphere on the boat with teams coming and going at all times of day and night on various research tasks.

 Research tasks which require volunteer manpower include:, spotlight surveys for caimans and diet studies of this species (which necessitates capture of the caimans through noosing), transect surveys for the abundant Pink and Grey River Dolphins and an elusive population of manatees at this site, mist netting surveys of the bird communities utilising the forest understory, transect counts of wading birds, point counts of macaws as indicators of forest fruiting, gill net surveys of

fish communities, standardised searching surveys to characterise the amphibian communities, land based transect counts of primates, large mammals and game birds as indicators of levels of exploitation, checking 20 camera traps run at a variety of habitats and depending on water level. In addition to these surveys there are dissertation studies where assistance may also be required - for example assisting with behavioural data observations on the primate species.

After her "official" trip is over she will be stopping in Machu Picchu to explore the ancient ruins..

Does this sound like the most fantastic of trips? Well I am sure it will be.. Of course there are expenses involved and we have started a fund raising push to help her cover those expenses. If anyone is interested in donating.. please click on our donating button.. It will show here in this post as well as on the side.. Thanks for all your support whether it be verbal or financial

Shauni

Finding Her Way to Peru

Just found out today that Word Girl is off to Peru for the summer! How exciting is that? She will be doing some environmental stuff and donating her time and efforts where needed. She will also be spending at least a weekend at Machu Pichu.. I am so jealous!!

Happy Birthday to a Special Girl

Twenty One years ago today.. at about 1am or so, my water broke..

I of course called the Doctor and they told me to come on in, being the mother I was I explained that it would be closer to 6am because I had to finish the Halloween costumes for my other two children, take a shower and of course shave my legs.

Around 6am, we strolled into the hospital, only to be yelled at by my doctor who had beat me there. I told him I had explained that I was busy and it would be closer to 6 before I showed up. He looked at me for a moment before shaking his head and saying, well yes but no one actually believed you. From there I was taken into a delivery room where I promptly fell asleep. What can I say, I was tired, it had been a long hot summer with no central air, which meant I didn't get all that much sleep and the past 24 hours I had none. A Few hours later they woke me up and told me it was time to push.. Ok, I did so.. heard from my husband "honey, it's a girl" smiled rolled over and fell back asleep. You have to understand, after two stepsons and two sons, I really really wanted a girl.. but I was tired. From delivery they took me to this absolutely gorgeous private room. It was available and they gave it to me at no update cost. Brass headboard, Brass cradle, floral prints everywhere.. gorgeous.. and what a waist! I literally slept for the next day and a half. Sometime in there my doctor came in to check on me (I found out later) and the chart said I was over medicated.. the only problem is, I hadn't had any... yep.. I had the easiest delivery in the world.. and I slept through it.

This beautiful girl was a joy, at 9 months she was the how to dunk a baby example at mommy and me swim lessons, we would dunk her and she would come up laughing. The instructors told the other mothers that if they did it right this was how their children should react.. (still makes me smile) by 3 she was going off the high dive by herself (I wasn't going with her).

Also at three she decided she wanted to learn how to ride her bike without training wheels, so I took them off.. standing behind her holding the bike and ready to run behind her, she smiled at me and said "Let go mommy, I can do it myself" and she did! The next day she rode her bike, with the rest of us into town, about 4 miles.. fortunately a friend had a truck to bring us back because that was a bit much.. From there she was off and running!!

This child had the heart of a lion and the determination to do it all on her own.. but she also had a sensitive soul. I failed my baby in this manner, she was often bruised by others, even adults.. instead of fighting for her.. I told her to suck it up and learn to deal. Being sensitive is a hard burden to bear.. she did but the shell that encased that heart sometimes hurts mine.

For all of her sensitiveness about herself, she learned early to stand up for others, no one was going to be insulted or put down on her watch. She stood for those who would not or could not stand for herself. She was the first to say it like it is and wouldn't put up with any crap. This made her an easy target for the mean girls and their moms.. and believe me, those butter wouldn't melt in their mouths children took great joy in picking her apart.

While hurting her, a lot, this didn't seem to stop her from being a true leader. Not that she ever realized that... she gathered a group of friends around her that others fought to be a part of. Twice, those groups were destroyed but a girl who wanted what my girl had created and young girls learning their way.. chose the interloper.. the same one.. who came in and bad mouthed my girl, worked at her insecurities and turned her "friends" away. The first time she was forgiven. After the second time I told Word Girl, she was welcome to forgive her again, but she was not welcome, in my car, in my house, in my presence.. I don't care that her life was hard.. MY DAUGHTER.. deserved better. But in both cases, Word Girl rebounded by making wonderful new friends and starting a new circle.

All through her elementary and high school years she was the lightening rod that attracted the mean girls and sometimes they managed to really hurt her.. but most times.. my girl soared! Of course she never understood what a leader she really was.

When she left for Western Illinois University.. she shed this town. She left behind the mean girls, those that stepped all over her to find their glory and those that needed to demean her to create their own.. Instead she blossomed. From the very beginning she was given leadership positions. She was a member of the Residence Hall Committee, even chairing the after hours committee, as a Freshman!! She has never really came home. She works as a summer RA and a leader for incoming freshman with Camp Leatherneck. Has been active with STLF (Students Today, Leaders Tomorrow) and this year has pledged to XO sorority..

All that while maintaining an excellent GPA!

I am so proud of my amazing girl.. and more than that I respect the woman she has become!

I love you baby Happy Birthday

Mom

A Treasured Olympic Memory

When Pita Boy and Word Girl were four and six.. I came home one day and word girl was running.. then she jumped.. then she fell down.. then Pita Boy came running out and helped helped her.. and they hobbeled off. I asked what are you two doing.. and Word Girl looked up at me with her beautiful smile and said.. "We are playing Olympic Gymnast mommy"..

When Does She Have Time for Class?

I got a call from Word Girl today.. she was in Elgin which is about 30min from me. Now she goes to school in Macomb which is 4 hours from us. She is on a bus tour with her school, visiting High Schools.. From Elgin she went to Champaign/Urbana which is about 2 1/2 hours from here.. then on to Kentucky, then Nashville.. before heading back to Macomb..

She should be back sometime Monday Night.. She is acting as some sort of ambassador for school.. and that's good, eventually her connections are going to be very very excellent. Although, I don't see how they will help in the field of Marine Biology.. but she is learning how to deal with people.. how to stand as a leader and how to public speak (which she is horrible at).. Next month, during Spring Break she is off on another trip with the school.. and in the summer, another.. a busy girl my girl.. Maybe she will even find time to go to class.

Yeah, really I'm not complaining I am just too proud of her!!

It Seems So Weird

Just a few short years ago, every single moment of my day was filled with the antics of my children.. I could wax on forever about the insane and silly things that they did.. And when I wasn't talking about them I was either with them or doing something for them. Even at work, stories of them filled my working hours..

As they get older and for the most part out of my life.. I have many empty moments.. Ok, not empty that implies that there is nothing there to fill it. Oh there is, I have lots of fun stuff going on and have plans for even more.. but I do sometimes miss those days where I never had any time to myself.

Hair Boy is an amazing young man, caught up in his music and his life.. going forward with such plans.. remember those days? Poised to soar?

PITA Boy, has plans upon plans but has yet to solidify any of them.. I know he will fly once he gets out from under my too confining wing.. I don't mean to stifle but I think I do. I allow him to not soar.. there that sounds better than stifling.

Word Girl, well that one has always had a mind of her own.. as well as a plan and a way to get what she wants. I remember when she liked to cuddle but that was way back in the land before time.. Mostly I remember this amazingly strong of spirit young woman who could do it herself..

Blond Girl, she is there.. poised.. on the very brink of life.. Just a few more months and she will be off.. And yes I think she will be sticking with her first choice and going off to the University of Wyoming. She has considered all her options and just keeps circling back to Wyoming..

So very soon, it will be just me.. Scared? you bet!! But Excited as well!! It will be very hard juggling these individuals from a distance.. but I am just the mom to do it!

Word Girl's Return

Oh Joy of Joys.. Word Girl came home from California to bless us with her presence for three whole days.. sadly those days were marred.. yes fans, our days of bliss were not bliss free.. *grins*

It seems, while borrowing her computer I sorta kinda gave it a virus.. and of course it happened right before she came home so we weren't able to get it fixed BEFORE she got home.. So instead we sat around plotting out ways to tell her.. what would cause the smallest explosion.. Sadly, I ignored all our plotting and didn't tell her in public.. or in the car with a friend as witness.. NO, Silly me.. I had to tell her in private.. Oh yeah.. that was fun.. NOT

So our conversation went something like this...

Word Girl: When were you going to tell me?

Me: Hello? Isn't it obvious? I am telling you now.. I obviously waited as LONG as POSSIBLE to tell you.. *shakes head* Sheesh

Word Girl: You break everything.. I am texting Hair Boy!!

Me: *rolling eyes and mock quivering*

The next day she was ok.. and on Saturday we checked w/Best Buy to see how long it was going to take.. which btw, it was forever... which lead to another wonderful conversation...


Word Girl: I knew you would break it..

Me: *just letting her rant*

Word Girl: You break everything...

Me: Finally fed up... You know.. I have had my laptop for THREE YEARS.. and this is the first virus.. you have had yours for less than two and this is your THIRD.. I know I didn't give it the first two.. But I am pretty sure I PAID for it to be repaired..

Word Girl: *Silence*

Finally I got the last word.. doesn't happen all that often with our Word Girl

When Art Becomes Reality

I got a call from Word Girl today, she is in California Visiting my mom. They were on their way to my mom's estate sale.. (her company will come in and work your estate sale for you) and my mom told Word Girl to look for Shadowfax Dr.. Being properly raised by me.. the ultimate Tolkien Fan Word Girl commented.. Seems the entire town has street names from Lord of the Rings.. while we were on the phone Word Girl said.. "Hey we just passed Gondor" seems whoever named the streets didn't get the importance of Gondor as it's just a little side street.. 

It was a fun conversation.. as my mom was pretending to have a clue.. she has steadfastly refused to read Tolkien for the 40 yrs he has been my favorite. But she did call my uncle to tell him and HE at least had a clue!! Not only had he read the books.. he had seen all the movies or visa versa.... 

All I know for sure is I wanna live in Gondor.. or the shire.. or shoot even on Shadowfax drive

Conversation with the Girls

Tonight I was having a conversation with my girls.. 

I was telling them about the changes in their blog... (I mean this one) and it went something like this..


Word Girl: I have a blog?


Me: no the blog I write about you guys...


Blond Girl: I hope you don't use my real name (she is just now figuring this out)


Me: No I use the name I gave you (pretty nifty that as it could be her "real" name.. I did after all give her that as well)


Blond Girl: What name did you use?


Me: Hair Boy, PITA Boy, Word Girl and Blond Girl... Word girl cuz she always has to have the last word and you are Blond Girl.


Blond Girl: Really? You couldn't use, Smart Girl or Physics Girl or Music Girl or Tuba Girl???


Word Girl: Or girl who has to spend every other weekend in the hospital girl?


at this point giggling has ensued...


Blond Girl: Does it have to be so superficial? I want a new name....

Word Girl: Did you notice how she said she used the name she gave us? glad all that college education is not waisted!



So I am on a quest to come up with a new name.. Yes, although she does indeed prove the fact that Blond is not a hair color... rather a state of mind... she wants a new name!! It is under consideration...

A Conversation with Word Girl

Word Girl was bored and decided to read the Percy Jackson books, which we had on sitting around at home. Of course, when my kids read books that I have already read they assume that I will answer questions or give spoilers. I don't know why they think this as they have know me their ENTIRE lives and I have never done so... Anyway.. Word girl got me on this one...

Word Girl: "So, is his dad Zeus?"

Me: "I am not answering that."

Word Girl: "So, is his dad Zeus?"

Me: "I am not answering that."

Word Girl: "So, is his dad Zeus?"

Me: "I am not answering that."

Word Girl: "You just did, three times..."

And you wonder how she got the nickname Word Girl?

Rember, At Thanksgiving?

Word Girl comes home tomorrow.. oh yeah.. yippy skippy... remember how excited I got when she was coming home for Thanksgiving? How much I was looking forward to it? Well, I am so over that... 

When she came home, there was so much bickering and negative comments that I completely tensed up. Migraines were back in abundance.. and finally, the day before she left.. we were walking in Union Station from the Amtrak train to the Metra.. and I literally popped a muscle.. I was in pain for THREE weeks... and it has just now finally gotten so it doesn't hurt.. 

The amazing thing was.. I hadn't understood how seriously negative the dynamics were when she is home.. I was a nag pure and simple.. and when I would ask her not to do something she would respond with you always.... the thing is.. I don't always.. This past year I have realized, that I rarely... 

It bothers me that this child, whom I adore makes me that tense and angry... it's like dealing w/my mother.. except because it's my mother she gets to win... The part that sucks.. is Word Girl doesn't follow the same rules.. I should get to win.. I am the mother.. it doesn't matter if she agrees with me, she should still go along with my rules and my thinking with a smile on her face darn it.. It's not like she is going to LIVE in this household anymore.. She is a guest!!

Ok, rant over.. The good news is.. she is off to visit Grandma on Christmas day.. so I only have a week or so and then things are back to normal!! AND she will be in heaven because the two of them get along like gangbusters.. *grins* of course I get a benefit out of it as well, cuz if she mouths off about me.. My MOM will totally kick her a$$.. hey, hierarchy works somewhere...

Thanksgiving

I have so very much to be thankful for.. Truly I have been blessed.. I know life is hard.. that I have made some really bad choices but in the end.. I got these four amazing individuals.. 

 I try to get OUT of pictures cuz I hate the way I look... and the sad part is I take good pictures.. you know you either look better in pictures or worse.. well I look better.. anyway.. I tried.. I really tried but they wanted their entire family in it.. and Word Girl even made it a Christmas card.. It's great to be loved in spite of my flaws.. 


Hair Boy hosted Thanksgiving at his house and the kids worked together to make the dinner. Fortunately for me... the ex did all the Thanksgiving meals in our home so my boys have been taught that yes, it is the Man's job to cook Thanksgiving dinner.. *grins* who am I to correct them?


We had a lovely day together in between cooking we played LotR Trivial Pursuit.. I didn't win... I KNOW... can you believe that? PITA BOY won.. the rat..

Getting Excited!

I know it is hard to believe but I am getting really excited to see my girl! Word Girl is coming home tomorrow! There were many many times when I counted the days before I saw the door hitting her backside on the way out.. She tested me, drove me insane and often made me want to throttle her. Fortunately, while away at college she is realizing how good she had it!

 Things she has learned so far

1. She had a family who loved her UNCONDITIONALLY.. not something many people have...
2. She doesn't KNOW everything 
3. Mom isn't always wrong and *gasp* sometimes she knows what she is talking about
4. Money really doesn't grow on trees
5. You have to make choices, sometimes hard ones
6. Sometimes just hearing mom's voice makes it better
7. Little sister really wasn't all that bad
8. While you can't go home again.. it sure is nice to visit occasionally
9. Having one parent who will cut off her right arm to see you happy is better than having two disinterested ones
10. Life really is good.....

Ok, so I made the list up.. but she is changing her attitude towards her family, well the women in her family... she always had a good relationship with her brothers..  and her Grandma.. and her Aunts.. ok she is chaning her attitude towards her sister and I.. and yes I would miss this bundle of joy even if she wasn't.

A Note From Word Girl

Heard from Word Girl last night...

She has had a busy few days.. went to register for next semester classes and every single class that was suggested to her by her adviser was full. What are the odds of that.. every single class? Now she needs to fumble around and see what she can do to get the right classes to work for her major.. oh what a joy that will be!

She is working towards studying abroad for her fall semester. Of course she plans on studying in Australia so the fall Semester starts in July.. so she will be home for about a month before she is off again. The entire program sounds so exciting! It doesn't matter which school she ends up attending the orientation begins on the great barrier reef. How cool is that? She is looking at schools in Sydney, Melbourne and Tazmania.. I am thinking she is leaning towards the Univ of Tazmania because for a while she was trying to convince me to let her attend Univ of Tazmania as her initial school.. sheesh I would never see her then!